3 ways to overcome the obstacles to the goal
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We often set ourselves a goal: to lose weight / get a new job / learn a new language / to adjust the day mode - each with its own list. The purpose of encouraging, fills us with energy. We are thinking about how to achieve it, break it on the way to a more realistic and achievable steps. At least, so they seem to us, as long as the process is managed by our rational brain ...
But after a while we face serious opposition. The game takes the emotional brain and our vision of the desired prospects replaced by internal chaos. Now everything will depend on to what the brain - the rational or emotional - we listen.
Who will win?
Given that most of us are throwing their goals halfway, often we become victims of their emotional brain. There is nothing surprising, because it is much more active and insistent than rational - are inherently lazy and inclined to follow in tow for emotional.
When faced with any external obstacle between them occurs in about such a dialogue:
Emotional Brain: "Oh! Let! It is a threat to us! "
The rational brain: "I guess I agree ... It looks pretty scary ..."
Emotional brain (in a panic): "Why are we still here? We run away - fast !!! "
The rational brain (ready for anything, as long as the story ended as quickly as possible): "Yes, I suppose we can not cope, we are not able to / know / attractive ..." Spiritual chaos grows, the feeling of "I'm not good enough for this" all the more strongly resonate with the unconscious attitudes. External obstacles will soon turn into the inner, in which we begin to truly believe, and our progress toward the goal stops.
The emotional brain makes us give up before difficulties, rational often obey him
To achieve the goal, we need to cheer up our rational brain, that he took up the matter seriously, without succumbing to panic emotional brain.
Let us explain this with an example. Imagine that ride in the car with a small child, and he shoves you from fear of the steering wheel, thinking that if he will steer the two of you will be safe. What do you do?
How do I enable the rational brain
1. Be present in the moment
The first thing you need to return the child to take his place in the back seat, so that it does not interfere with the machine control. This is a safety issue, but not limited to - the child becomes calmer, seeing that you have taken responsibility. Since in this case, the child and the adult are presented in one - your - face, it means that you do not succumb to hysteria and the temptation to surrender immediately and to restore its presence in the present moment.
When between stimulus and response there is a gap, you are in control of himself and his actions. Studies have shown that in this case we do not retreat before difficulties, are open to a variety of opportunities and to choose a suitable, act boldly.
2. Transform the energy of
Even in the backseat of a child can continue to scream and cry out of inertia. In this case, do not expect that he will calm down and relax. Switch it with negative emotions as strong positive. I remember well that when my son was two years old and he started to cry, it was easier to get him to laugh than to reassure.
Similarly, when we adults embraced fear or anxiety, we can convert the negative energy in a constructive direction.
3. Strive for coordinated work of
Rational and emotional brain have different motivational systems. First set up to plan and implement plans for the second seeks to avoid pain and ensure safety. The secret of success is to reconcile these different intentions and achieve coordinated operation. If we think of how well we feel, reaching the goal, the emotional brain is tuned to its achievement.
The most common way to achieve the goal, we do not interfere with the external circumstances and the obstacles that we create themselves
It is equally important to teach the rational mind to listen to our emotions: they may serve him a compass, helping to select is not the goal, but the path. Continuing with our example with a child in the car - for example, we encouraged him, telling him what a wonderful place to go, but we want to see, and the journey itself pleased him, and for this we can slightly change the planned route, for example, take a detour. Least likely to achieve the goal of preventing external circumstances. This is only the first level of obstacles. Most often interfere with the obstacles that we create ourselves. If you learn to recognize when our emotional brain controls (at this moment we are experiencing fear), we can transfer responsibility to more advanced areas of the brain. And able to reach these goals.
For details, see. Happify Daily on the site.
On the EA
Homayra Kabir (Homaira Kabir), a positive psychologist, a coach, a cognitive-behavioral therapist. As the author collaborates with such publications as Forbes, The Huffington Post, The Globe and Mail.