Do I need to change the name by getting married?
Harry Matushevich-Milne, 34, Bristol:
"I do not understand why men often do not change their names"
My wife Pole, and even in Poland, her name is not very common. Her father, who died a year after our wedding, was very interested in family history. For him it was very important that their name was not lost, and I was impressed. Therefore, after the wedding, I took a double-barreled surname.
I've never liked many of the traditions associated with the wedding. For example, do not offer. We just sat down and discussed, whether we, and it turned out that we both want to get married. I have not only seen her wedding dress in advance - I helped to choose it. Similarly, she knew that I wear to the wedding, although some of our relatives, and it came as a shock. But I would not want to appear on the wedding dress, which is not like the bride.
A future in-law was my namesake, and if I had taken her husband's name, the confusion was even more
I did not want his wife to renounce her identity in favor of the mine. And it's a change of name is connected with the paperwork. It would be unfair if only the wife had to tinker with it. Maybe in my decision to have an element of vanity. It's so cool to have a hyphenated name. The telephone directory of Aberdeen, where I come from, Milne set aside more than eight pages. Why do not I stand among them?
Janet Gilbert, 57 years, Australia:
"Some are outraged, that I left my name"
I was in Australia, Germany and Holland, and came to London to work on his dissertation. I was focused on scientific work, he began writing for academic journals, my name became known in my circles. Here I am terribly in love with a fellow student, and we decided to get married. But I do not even think to change the name I wore it 28 years, and it has been an integral part of my personality. This was compounded by the fact that the future mother in law was my namesake, I have called "Janet number two" or "younger Janet." And if I had taken her husband's name, the confusion would be even greater. Nevertheless, some of my family did not like that I'm staying under his own name. But I do not understand why to change it, and now, after 29 years of marriage, stand by my opinion. I have five children, and all of them have the surname of her husband, and my stated as the second name.
Joanne Phillips, 46 years, Shropshire:
"I feel a little guilty about his father that I could not pass on his name"
I married very late. 36 years I wore maiden name and was hesitant to change it. As a feminist, I hated this transformation from Miss to Mrs. - man as he was, and remains Mr life! But then I felt that I should do this: because women change of surname in marriage symbolizes devotion. Besides, I reasoned, that so and so is my identity in connection with the marriage will have to change, I have to say "goodbye" to itself the same, well, I do, and then the names at the same time.
If I changed the name, I would have like to start with a clean slate
Now, 10 years later, I think it was better to take a hyphenated name or even leave her. I was never able to feel in another person - I do not know until the end who this Mrs. Phillips? However, when you start to use the new name in the profession, it becomes part of you. But it is only part. I am outraged that the burden of change of identity is assigned only to the woman. And at the same time as a mother, I agree that it is much more convenient when all family members are of the same name. But how is a strong case? I dont know.
sraddha Cole, 27 years old, London:
"Contrary to the Indian tradition, I kept her maiden name"
I am an Indian from London and two years as a married person, which has been in love with since childhood. His name, violating our tradition, I left for two reasons. Firstly, because of the work. I am a public relations specialist, and was a journalist before. If I changed the name, I would have like to start with a clean slate. My name appears in numerous documents, I have accounts in different social networks - to change all of this would be difficult. Her husband and his family supported my decision is.
I do not understand why we have to act in a certain way just because there were so those who came before us. On the contrary, we need to develop new ideas and support changes. And in general, the world has changed a lot. In India, for example, many traditions such as arranged marriage between the parents gradually recede. Being close to your partner and in sorrow and in joy - that's what it means to be a devotee. And do not change the names.
So whether or not to change the name by getting married?
Irina Bezrukov, actress
I understood that my man is important and pleasant. I loved, was going to build a family, have children, live in an ideal "for good or ill" for life with one man, and be her husband. Sergei Bezrukov surname taken by mutual agreement, and it was not some kind of a difficult decision. Now I was left Bezrukova, since I already know everything exactly as Irina Bezrukov, and I do not want to confuse people in the film industry or, for example, to disappear, as happened with other actresses who have decided after numerous prominent roles in the movie suddenly change his surname. And besides, people have already started to get used to what we have now completely with Sergei polar history.
Marina Travkova, family therapist
This tradition - probably a relic of a patriarchal society. The ancient and the first meaning of this event has always been the one that a woman as an object moves to her husband. But we do not want to be objects and do not have to. If a man requires a woman, so she took his surname, if it is of fundamental importance, as a rule, they need it as a kind of proof of status: you are mine. Apparently, this means that a person is caught in stereotypes. Today, fortunately, such requirements are found less and less. It happens that a man changes his last name or both spouses take themselves double: to preserve the memory of their own families. If the motive is not to change the name associated with the approval of the authorities of one partner over the other, if they agree on this - this is a normal trend.
What do you think about this? Do I need to change the name? Tell us about your experience in the comments.