Die-hard: how to become more resistant
According to the American Psychological Association, persistent people are distinguished by several factors:
• They have a "support group", people they trust, who love them and are always ready to support.
• They are able to set themselves realistic goals and to achieve them.
• They have developed the skills and solving problems.
• They control their emotions and impulsive desires.
• They well are currently and are confident that will be able to cope with life's difficulties.
Based on the experience of working with clients, I can add to this list a few features specific to those who show resistance. Such people:
• As a rule, generally are more optimistic.
• see more choices and more resourceful.
• recognize that change - an integral part of life and it is not always everything goes as planned.
• focus on what can actually control, and to direct the energy to change themselves.
• take care from the others.
The good news is that the resistance to adversity can develop. And here's how.
1. Consider failures as opportunities for growth
It is important to learn to see every failure as a valuable lesson. Bearing in mind that the black bars in life are normal and inevitable, you can not treat them as something private (punishment or proof of your bankruptcy) and can not blame yourself.
2. Create a "support group"
Our resistance is provided by the people who support us in many ways. Work on relationships, while maintaining contact with old friends and making new ones, engaging in public or religious life, different circles, sections, groups of interests.
3. Do not ask "why?", Ask "how?"
Very often the question of why there is something bad, it is simply impossible to answer. But many of us are still engaged in a fruitless search for answers and as a result wallow in anger, guilt and depression. The question that really should ask yourself: "How can I deal with it?"
4. Control the emotions
An important component of psychological stability - the ability to control and regulate their emotions and mood. Strong emotions (anger, sadness, fear) prevent us from thinking clearly, soberly assess the available options and make informed decisions.
Persistent people are able to to control your emotions so that they do not interfere with them focus, in fact. However, they do not suppress these feelings and find healthy means to express them. They are able to calm down and relax with the help of creative hobbies, sports or meditation.
5. Stop feeling sorry for yourself
To be more stable, it is important to stop thinking like a victim. Try to see yourself as a person's ability to cope with any difficulties. Replacing self-pity, sympathy, you will realize that there are difficulties at each and perenestanete compare their problems with other people.
6. Remind yourself: you are stronger than you think
Persistent people problems do not seem insurmountable: they believe they are able to withstand any difficulties. In other words, how well you overcome obstacles, it depends on how you look at these obstacles.
My favorite exercise to improve confidence - to make a list of all the difficulties that you have already overcome. Most of it will turn out quite long, and it will include both a tragedy such as the death of loved ones, as well as minor troubles like dents in the car.
Even if you deal with the problems of the past is not the most optimal way, it is still have gained much experience in the luggage, which tells you what is worth doing and what - no. It is important to remember that you are actually stronger than you think!
7. Do not think about the problems and how to solve them
Another way to improve their psychological stability - to concentrate not on the difficulties and possible solutions to. Endlessly "chewing" problem, you only usuglublyaete situation.
Anxiety and fruitless thoughts usually are not conducive to mental flexibility and creative approach to problem solving. If you notice that the "stuck" to think about the difficulties encountered, force yourself to switch to the search for a solution or Ask for advice from someone you trust.
8. Do not forget about humor
Can you laugh at yourself or your problems? Humor can help us overcome the most difficult periods in life.
Experience Life magazine called humor one of the five best ways to the development of psychological stability, "laughing in the face of difficulties helps to get rid of the ball and - both physical and mental."
9. Remember, you - it's not just your problems
It is important to remind yourself that your life, and you are much more than your problems. You can not always control what happens, but it depends on you how you will react.
About the Author
Sharon Martin (Sharon Martin) - the therapist from California with 20 years of experience, its site.