All psychologists are happy. Or not?

All psychologists are happy. Or not?

They are invited on television talk shows, their lectures gather full houses, their books are bestsellers. According to many polls, psychologists and psychotherapists on average happier than those in other professions. But whether they can serve as an example to follow? Their knowledge, experience and ability to penetrate the mysteries of the mind - whether it all makes them happier? Nothing is more controversial.

Among psychologists love to tell stories of life, who would rather show the opposite: one great analyst blames himself for not being able to prevent the suicide of his wife; another therapist, a bachelor, suffers from the fact that all his love stories end in scandal; from a child psychiatrist never had children ... Let us remember about the father of psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud, whose humor hid a tendency to depression. Confirm whether psychologists saying about the shoemaker without shoes? And what qualities acquire through trade?

More vulnerable

History shows that the way in psychotherapy often begins with a deep psychic wounds which future professionals are trying to heal, to get rid of, studying and testing method currently practiced by them. We can say for sure that many psychologists have started to deal with this particular science, because they are suffering or have suffered themselves.

In the famous American psychotherapist Irvin Yalom (Irvin Yalom) had an unhappy childhood, he was a victim of anti-Semitic atmosphere in the school. French ethologist Boris Barber (Boris Cyrulnik) very soon lost his family in 1942 as a result of the deportation of the year. It is not limited to an unhappy childhood.

Because of their own perezhivnaiyam therapists can feel more responsive customer, they have a common space experience

The psychiatrist and psychotherapist Christophe Andre (Christophe André) suffered from anxiety and depression for many years and was powerless to overcome them. A founder of the Soviet experimental psychopathology Zeigarnik Blum, already a famous scientist, experienced family drama, the arrest and the death of her husband, the persecution of "cosmopolitanism". After a happy youth, her life up to 60 years were full of hardships and losses. But "she was able at the right time to launch the mechanism that created for her a feeling of serenity, - says her grandson, photographer Andrew Zeigarnik. - As if knew that under all the storms of this life it hides any surface, from which she never loses the connection. " Many legendary psychotherapists not all was well with health: "It is known, in particular, about the Scottish psychiatrist Ronald David Laing, and about the founder of Gestalt therapy, Fritz Perls - reminds psychologist Dmitry Leontyev. - But these features do not interfere with their professional life, rather helped. " With this agrees psychotherapist Vladimir Baskakov, "Recently, my colleagues and I have discussed our own illness and suffering. And they came to the conclusion that because of this we can be more responsive feel of its client, a common space of experience "appears we have with him.

Psychologists and psychotherapists are no more than the other protected from trauma and adversity. But some of them manage to find a profession thanks to his own way to cope with troubles, and this experience can be shared with customers.

All psychologists are happy. Or not?

Freer

"Free" - this word often (more often than "happiness") comes to mind when we think about the personal life of psychotherapists. Many of those who stood at the origins of psychoanalysis, trying to understand and fix the theory that personal freedom from rules and conventions, which upheld in practice. Noteworthy is the fate of the daughter of a Russian general, a disciple of Freud, writer and psychotherapist Lou Salome (Lou Salomé). Already at an early age she became femme fatale Western intellectual elite. She knew how to be men and unparalleled intellectual partner, and "obscure object of desire".

Lou Salome is not considered to be particularly ethical demands of his time. Her sex life started only 35 years - after the experiences of friendly and creative co-existence of men and many years of marriage. According to philosopher Larissa Garmash, "her whole life was a kind of a unique experiment - it is like experiencing the elasticity of boundaries between masculine and feminine: how many" male "it is able to absorb without sacrificing their femininity" 1 . We do not know whether the Lou Salome was happy, but she was definitely free and able to do free of their patients.

Knowledge of psychology does not eliminate the conflict, but allows you to see more clearly the spiritual organization and the other is easier to go to conciliation

"Occupation Gestalt therapist gave me the freedom - says psychotherapist Marina Baskakov - first of all freedom of thought. You can not be a psychologist, not learning to understand and accept themselves. And this decision provides support within his own "I": trust in yourself, feeling that you can rely on. " This, in turn, leads to autonomy and independence. Hence freedom of thought and the ability to live according to their own aspirations, without following the stereotypes that society dictates, and not trying to live up to expectations.

"My profession has given me permission to be who I am, - continues Marina Baskakov. - And to express themselves in accordance with it. A simple example: I am able to take care of yourself, sleep if I'm tired, take a break in the conversation, if I need to think. First for me it was a big challenge: I, like many others, think this is wrong, unacceptable. And in regard to the physical manifestations, I also became free, I do not feel like a prisoner representations of women appearance. "

Yet much depends on the professional opinion of the psychologist, says Dmitry Leontyev: "There are areas that deny freedom, such as behaviorism. Behaviorists less free because the freedom not to believe. This self-fulfilling prophecy. "

All psychologists are happy. Or not?

More astute

Psychologists (compared to us) clear themselves, but because they clearly see their relationships with other people. "Knowledge of psychology does not eliminate the conflict - recognized psychologist and seksoterapevt Maria Tikhonova - but I became a prominent spiritual organization other, so it's easier to go to conciliation. I used longer offended by attributing another hostile motives, but now I see how others are fragile and vulnerable. Sometimes the conflict says that among us there are deep differences in values, because of which each go on his way. But even in this case, I prefer to leave peacefully. And if the debt, they invested a lot of emotion, I am ready to work on themselves to save them. The most difficult for me to communicate person - my closest friend. But the fact that we have traveled together, talking about the value of our relationships and how they can become more harmonious. "

It was there, where there is internal development, we do not seek to be equal to themselves

The knowledge of the human psyche does not provide a universal key to all situations, but training is training special skills. Therefore, Dmitry Leontiev believes that more correct to speak not about the discernment of psychotherapists and their sensitivity: "The concept of insight comes from the fact that each has a hidden meaning. It is necessary to dig her only, and she will explain everything. This is Aristotle's view of things. Aristotle spoke of the inner self, which determines a person. If you know it, you can predict its behavior. It is assumed that a person is always this inner nature and yourself. But modern psychology believes that a person is not always equal to itself. Moreover, just where we are not trying to be equal to ourselves, there is a development. And are sensitive to the dynamics of this easier to understand what is happening every moment and constantly makes adjustments in our understanding of one another and of themselves. "

More open

It is clear that a heightened perception, the ability to feel fine does not promise happiness to their owners, including psychologists. And some of them do find it difficult to answer when it comes to happiness. After all, there are so many different aspects that are difficult to put together. "There are moments, flashes, flash emotions of happiness ... - says Vladimir Baskakov. - Often we talk about happiness when entering into a relationship - this time we feel full of how to inhale, and call it happiness. But there is not only breaths, but in and out. And breaths can not be more than exhalations - so you can not breathe. Psychology helps us to understand and accept this, do not panic, for example, when the exhalation occurs in family life. Happiness - it's not "stop, a moment!", And the alternation of events, which are filled not only delight, but also bitter. And all of this together gives life. " Perhaps most importantly - not to mark time in the same place, always be aware of their own desires, go your way. And do not be deceived by entering on the wrong path.

1 See. About this in the book Lou Salome "Erotica" (Cultural Revolution, 2012).