I find it difficult to spend the money on themselves. Why?
They - complete shopaholic opposite. They find it difficult to decide to spend on their own money. Psychologist Marie-Claude Francois Laugier sure that such behavior often indicates a strong fear of loss and security needs.
Each time, when I comes to mind the idea to go shopping, repeated the same story. I find that I like, try on, go to the cashier and then say to myself: "Do I need this?" In the course of thought, I come to the conclusion that the selected item is too expensive. I walk out of the store empty-handed, I feel lack of energy and fatigue.
Two years ago, my life was not a very pleasant time, I was unemployed and had to spend money sparingly. Since then, my attitude towards shopping has changed dramatically: the financial situation has improved considerably, but it is still hard to believe that I can somewhat pampered. I live with the feeling that I should hold off on a hypothetical rainy day, which is about to come.
At the same time, I calmly make gifts to others, love to please something similar. I feel that because of this "dysfunction" hiding any more serious problems and complexes, and really want to get rid of them. Anna, 32 years
"Stunning fear of loss"
, Marie-Claude Francois Laugier, psychologist:
This tendency to "financial anorexia" - a symptom of a deep fear of loss, and it's not just about money, but rather the loss of sense of security.
Some of the money associated with joy, strength, freedom, fun. Others, on the contrary, cause depression. We are afraid to be left without money: the future seems uncertain, vague, unsettling, and it seems that the economy will help protect us from it. Add to this our main fears: death or illness. We fear that, left without money, we can not cope with the challenges that await us.
often leads to low self-esteem asceticism: we begin to think that we have no right to enjoy
It is important to understand that the financial anorexia - it's not greed. The reasons for it should be sought in childhood. The phrase, "You are not worth anything," "You are a complete zero," that we hear in the address can sit deep in the subconscious and leave marks.
Very often it leads to asceticism, our low self-esteem that we begin to think that we have no right to enjoy, in a sense, punish ourselves, not allowing himself to enjoy buying things that we like.
Again, learn to enjoy yourself
How to cope with the situation? To begin with - to talk about it. Not necessarily recorded for a consultation with a therapist: first try to share with a friend or family member to talk about what worries you.
If you approach the problem more globally, you should start with small pleasures at least once a week. It could be anything: a movie ticket, a trinket that you have long wanted to buy a good book.
The main thing now - to awaken the desire to please himself. I will make it easier if you divide the moments of joy with someone from the family: for example, do not dine in the café with a friend. This will help in throwing off the accumulated weight. Having learned to have fun again, you gradually accustom themselves to it and stop feeling like a victim.
On the EA
, Marie-Claude Francois Laugier (Marie-Claude François-Laugier) - a psychologist and author of "Money in the couple and the family" (Payot, 2007).