Why friends do not return us our debts

You know each other for many years. Your friendship withstand any test until one day your friend does not ask for a loan a large sum of money ... It takes a month or two. It seems that the duty was forgotten. A reminder call rage, or it is no longer simply respond to calls. Why borrowing money is dangerous for the relationship?

Why friends do not return us our debts

Alexander and Anna are friends from school. Sasha is a successful business, and Anna worked in the office and takes a very modest position. When a friend needed money for repairs, Alexander gladly help her out, she borrowed the required amount of rather big. Repairs have already made six months ago, but Anna did not pay any attention to the timid hints that it is time to return the money or part thereof.

Two years later, at the very Alexandra things start to go does not matter, and it requires to repay the debt in a more rigid form. Perturbation girlfriend is no limit to: pop up such resentment about what Sasha did not even guess. She learns about myself a lot: and how once at school stole the boy Ani, how it all my life all "easily given." And what Anna could do repairs on this miserable sum.

Giving something on time, family or friends, be prepared to part with it forever

Vexed Sasha wrote venomous posts in social networks. Money has not come back, and long-term friendship comes to an end ... It happens to many of us, and we wonder why friends do not justify our trust?

Here are five reasons that explain this behavior.

1. Other perceive YOUR MONEY AS GIFT

Perhaps he originally was not going to return you a favor, deciding that it is a gift. Expert on etiquette Emily Post advises not to borrow things, or the amounts of money that you are really expensive. In other words, giving something for a while family or friends, be prepared to part with it forever. In particular this applies to books.

2. He forgot about the long

Perhaps he even denies the very possibility that the could do something you borrow. What it is: forgetfulness or hypocrisy? So the tip for the future: take a receipt showing the amount and term of its repayment. It will be sufficient, and the e-mail, to refresh the memory.

3. You have a different system of values ​​

Perhaps you are frugal, meticulous drive home bookkeeping and carefully plan all expenses and your girlfriend lives one day and does not know what will happen at the end of the month. It's different about money today is, gone tomorrow - that's life. And she has no motivation to return them, if it is again grounded.

4. Others believe that you will not take a long

You might be perceived as a well-mannered man who would not make a fuss because of some amount. Thomas Farley thinks is right not to stammer about their rights. Wanting to return the money borrowed to friends, you risk the reputation of a generous and human. Especially if you paid for a friend at a restaurant, or helped him with the shopping and pay for your favorite thing.

5. Others believe that it is for you more important than money

... and I enjoy it. This is an occasion as a whole to reconsider its relations with the people. Perhaps borrowing large sums of money, you're trying to curry favor with others. Money in exchange for friendship is not the most secure investment.

Let's talk about it

Is there any way to appeal to the conscience and to repay the debt without scandal? Unfortunately, giving 100% guarantee there is no tactics, but can, for example, help to talk one-on-one in a cafe. The main thing that you were alone and nobody will interfere. Avoid strong language, does not act like a bailiff. Your monologue might look like this: "I was glad to lend you this amount a couple of months ago, but was hoping that you will return the money before I have to pay for the apartment. Now they are very necessary to me. When you will be convenient to give me a loan? " If one is silent or vague answers, hint that it is not prepared to wait indefinitely: "I hope that we will settle within the next month. Maybe you can give me the portion of the amount already today? "

Financial relations may actually be a marker of your position in life, the ability to defend their own interests.

Source: The Huffington Post.

see also

Why friends do not return us our debts

How to predict whether or not to return the money that we're going to borrow? It turns out that there is a more reliable way than checking credit history and evaluation of the borrower's income. You just have to pay attention to the words he expresses his request.

Having studied the biographies of famous people, we find that in the history of their success is nothing supernatural, and the success of the recipe is simple and therefore accessible to everyone. So, if you "follow the dream" and to abandon the word "but" and "must", you can change a lot in life.