Lozada ratio: one reproach, three praise
When communicating with a person one has to reproach less than three commendable relations with it will inevitably corrupt - a conclusion reached by a Brazilian psychologist Marcel Losada. My thoughts on this subject is divided Martin Seligman, one of the founders of positive psychology.
It was Friday evening, quarter past eleven. The working week is over, but I still could not shake the thought of the "minimum rate of positivity", which was devoted to a lecture by Barbara Fredrickson (social psychologist, an expert on positive emotions, psychology professor at University of North Carolina (USA) - Ed...) . And, I admit, during a family dinner, thought and spoke only about that.
"We visited dozens of companies, recording everything that is said at the meetings, - he told us Barbara. - And we saw a clear pattern: if the ratio of positive to negative statements above 2, 9: 1, the company is thriving. If it is lower, things are not going well. We call this figure "factor Lozada" in honor of the discoverer - Brazilian colleague Marcel Losada. But do not overdo it with positivity. Life - the ship, which must be the sails and rudder. With a ratio higher than 13: 1 positive aimlessly sails fluttering in the wind, and you lose all sense of reality ... " After the lecture, one student admitted to me: "Although Barbara talked about the company, I thought only about my family. I suddenly realized that his eldest son I have this ratio - 1: 1, and I felt terribly sad. I thought of our daily hassles. I wanted to grab the books and go home quickly. Barbara's lecture made me think that you can start with sincere praise and only then move on to talk about his studies, the manner of driving a car and other criticism ... "
Positive emotions help to form permanent psychological resources, which can be accessed in the future
In contrast to the negative emotions that arise in emergency situations and allow us to deal with external stimuli, positive emotions help to form permanent psychological resources, which can be accessed in the future. For example, in a fascinating conversation with a friend laid skills, we will use the rest of his life. A child who likes to run around, developing motor coordination, which will be useful to him in physical education classes. Positive emotions - it is more than pleasure. They show that there is a development, builds psychological capital ... "Pa-and-up! Take me to Alexis? Very necessary. Shake-a-aluysta! "- interrupted these reflections, my 14 year old daughter Nikki. I often think of a long-time conversation with her. Nikki said she has always been a crybaby, but their fifth birthday has decided to change: "It's the hardest thing I've done in my life. And if I can not cry, you can not grumble too! "
"Nikki, soon midnight. Can not you see I'm working? Go finish lessons or go to bed! "- I fired up ... and caught sight of his daughter. "Dad, - she said - you have a terrible ratio Lozada."