Secrets of the male orgasm
Imagine, already comes to the fact that many men perceive orgasm as the prerogative of the fair sex. Something dizzying and mysterious - and inaccessible to themselves, all of whose simple. Just spent a lot of effort, it is possible to convince the men to watch their feelings. But when it works, it becomes clear that about any mechanistic and can be no question.
Men experience a pleasure even find words that would most accurately describe their experiences - infinitely far from primitive. Here and "loss of control" and "faint" and "unconscious" and "electric shock".
"My whole body stiffens almost to convulsions, it seems to me that part of me away, as if it is something sucks," - says 37-year-old Vsevolod.
"This is a flash of gold light - and I suddenly find myself in a full merger, I'm not just in it, I already have it! But at the same time, I feel very lonely, "- says 51-year-old Roman.
"My condition can range from pleasant, but not too strong sensations to merge with the universe - sums up the 39-year-old Kirill. - As if we go beyond the body, dissolves in space. "
To get closer to understanding the male orgasm, we must first abandon sustainable, but mistaken notion, according to which it is identical with ejaculation. "Orgasm is, psycho-physiological response of the body - explains sexologist Yury Prokopenko. - The man, in contrast to women, there is also ejaculation. In most cases, this happens at the same time. Nevertheless, there is ejaculation without orgasm, and vice versa. " And in the case of sensations of orgasm without ejaculation are much better and sharper. That's just hold this art only a few advanced yogis and Taoists.
The sexual organ, available for both men and women - is the brain
This is not a legend, confirmed Yuri Prokopenko. But it does not share the optimism of those who have already met as quickly as possible to learn this art: "This is the highest level of knowledge of their own bodies, control over their autonomic nervous system, which is available even to all yogis and requires many years of training."
You can, however, dispense with the Eastern wisdoms. Cases of orgasm without ejaculation repeatedly observed in men receiving treatment with psychotropic drugs. However, it is doubtful the way to the heights of pleasure: the cases of ejaculation without psycho-emotional experiences occur no less frequently while taking psychotropic drugs.
"Mechanical phenomena can be ejaculation, but not orgasm - sums psychoanalyst and sexologist Alain Ėril. - For example, a man with premature ejaculation is experiencing only a slight spasm, but not fun. His ejaculation slipping away from him. For quality of orgasm need to be fully present "here and now" at the time of ejaculation, experience it consciously. Sexual organ, available for both men and women - is the brain. And the psychological dimension "prevails for both sexes sexuality.
Not only the phallus
"Women are lucky that they are" mysterious and complex "- first of all for themselves - ironically sex therapist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc. - It gives them the opportunity to understand the essence, examine yourself, gives you much more space for the enjoyment and expression of desire. While men often deceive themselves by their self-analysis too fast. Some stop on his "first raze" and then experiencing pleasure only masturbatory type, even with their partners. Which, incidentally, have complained that such men feel that they are inanimate "machines for ejaculation", which no one is trying to hear. "
The case of men - not to be satisfied in order to "take", but be prepared to be surprised and let yourself be surprised
But above all, these men do not hear themselves and are not aware of its features. And women can help men, inviting their territory. After all, the geography of male sexuality is not limited to the phallus.
Men, too, have nipples, thighs, crotch with a lot of nerve endings. At the same deep affection crotch cause many men excitement comparable to female arousal during stimulation of the point G. The men, too, have movement and words, which block stimulation, and others who, on the contrary, cause a powerful surge of desire.
But if women can help men in understanding enjoyment, then the business of men - not to be satisfied in order to "take", but be prepared to be surprised and let yourself be surprised.
"In both men and women, orgasm is the highest point of the growing excitement, - says Yuri Prokopenko. - If this path is passed through, the excitement reached a hundred percent, then orgasm happens, and if at some stage to interrupt the process - no. Therefore, it is wise to consider the orgasm itself, but as a result of what happens between the partners. "
The men, too, are cold
There ejaculation that do not bring happiness, men say. It's not about impotence - the outward signs of climax there. But there is intense emotions - this is the essence anorgazmii. And the more such men are looking for strong experiences, the harder it is to them to test them. Therefore, for them sex is associated with the feeling that they are deprived of something.
"Yes, we can talk about the frigid men - recognizes sexologist Yves ferrule. - They are afraid to let herself or was unable to move from adolescence to the satisfaction of self-satisfaction for two. In any case, they do not know how to surrender to pleasure. "
To control or let go?
For men, sex is complicated by the need to maintain control and not allow coitus finish too quickly. Although in terms of the nature of rapid ejaculation - a major evolutionary advantage.
"Quickly he has done his job and ran on to produce a mammoth - jokes Yury Prokopenko. - But from the point of view of women is bad. Both men are forced to do things that he himself was originally not really need. But the orgasm - is the result of desire and arousal two. And only together partners to understand how to reconcile their desires. "
Sexual education of men is to teach him to restrain himself, staying relaxed
The voltage, which men call self-control attempts, not only delays, but even closer ejaculation. "In fact, the stronger men control the process, the faster they ejaculate - said Catherine Blanc. - they behave there, where you do not want to go. They do not go beyond the pleasure-voltage, which is very different from oblivion exultant flesh. " The difficulty is that in order to maintain an erection long needed a state of relaxation. "It's a delicate balance, which creates the originality and complexity of the male orgasm - explains Alain Ėril. - And sex education for men is to teach him to restrain himself, while remaining relaxed. Be in tune with your partner and get the result more than the automatic ejaculation ".
Men are not born
We need some other evidence of how complex the male orgasm? "In the 10 patients of the sexologist fall 1-2 women and 8-9 men - said Yuri Prokopenko. - And who then more subtleties, complexities and challenges "?
However, Yury Prokopenko and specifies that only rely on the figures should not be: "In fact, a lot of difficulties, and those and others. But if a woman has trouble reaching orgasm, even she herself it could not have known. And if such a problem faced man, you know about it for at least two - he and his partner. And incentives for going to a specialist a lot more. "
Men are not born but become. And between the first ejaculation reflex that suddenly happens in one day, adolescence, and perfect delight man who knows his opportunities and his partner, is the whole world. And it is impossible to study alone.
"The male orgasm is determined by desire, - said Alain Ėril. - 95% of sexual difficulties that I watched seksoterapevt have a psychological origin. Desire, drive in a pair - the main condition for orgasm, which will never replace any one pill. "
The men also pretend orgasm
And more often than you might think. Sometimes they happen ejaculation without much enthusiasm, and they demonstratively exaggerated pleasure, and sometimes pretend to herself and ejaculation too.
"Actually it is not so difficult, especially during intercourse using a condom, - says Yuri Prokopenko sexologist. - And men often pretend orgasm. For example, to raise self-esteem partner. " Stories of men confirm this.
"When you're not there, where you are not the one with whom it is necessary, and you do not want to explain it the best way" - says Stepan.
"When you are not focused on sex, on pleasure, thoughts are occupied with something else, and you want all of this to end quickly," - adds Paul.
"On the one insatiable woman, I was in love, - says Roman. - She always wanted. And when I could no longer, I pretended to be. And she did not notice anything. "
"You breathe louder and heavier, portrayed spasms, muscle contraction and bending ... In general, pretending. Better in the moment when she is already very excited and nothing but the pleasure does not notice "- suggests Constantine.
Why pretend? "Because you do not want to disappoint his girlfriend - smiling Maxim. - You want to give her pleasure. Well, he look cool in bed. "
Well, the man - the same woman. As it turns out?