"We are friends with people with whom coincides internally"
The poet and prose writer Bakhyt Kenzheev Peter Samples known for many years. Bakhyt more than 30 years ago, he moved to Canada, then in the US, but Peter never left Moscow for a long time. Two friends speculate about than to keep the connection between us, and that means friendship in their lives.
Bakhyt Kenzheev: Discuss relationship - that's the idea! Do you know why in the United States over gay than you would expect based on the biological aspect ratio? Because American girls are very emancipated and often say, "Let's talk about our relationship." It's boring! A relationship with a man to discuss is not required.
Peter Samples: In the "discussion" is always imagining something unpleasant. Of course, we never did. But the more interesting to think about. Let's try and see what happens.
about female jealousy
A .: P. I do not remember that our friendship one of the women was jealous ... except my mother. She believed that Bakhyt me a bad influence. And the wife - no, but I do it Bakhyt and found his classmate Lyuba.
B. K .: If there was jealousy, it is not "against" but "for". Once our guest a poet, drunk, began to speak: "You, Bakhyt, stuff like a man." The next day, his wife said that he refuses from the house: "I can not afford to have hurt me in the house my husband!"
In my opinion, stupid jealousy. I have my own philosophy about the relationship of my friends with other people. I like it when they have their own circle of friends, and I expect the same attitude. We have love, you have a creative relationship with a woman, there is a relationship with her sex, tuned to the same as what we do. And strangely, when she wants a man to monopolize, seize them completely. P. A .: If you put a tough choice: "either me or your friends', he breaks up with a girl, and not with your friends.
B. K .: When a girl is jealous of Pete, it seems that my life is devoted to her not in full, some part of me, it do not get. But to choose is meaningless, must be both - otherwise harmony is impossible, and in fact we strive for harmony.
Many became unhappy because they could not understand that their chosen one is not ready to devote his life to cooing
The relationship with the opposite sex - the biggest and most romantic part of life. But we have many other besides genitals. We Homo sapiens, and our interests extend to the whole world.
Men, too, are no substitute for the girls the rest of the world. And many have become unhappy because they could not understand that their chosen one is not ready to devote his life to cooing, she has other questions. Life can not be reduced to the "Old World Landowners", although this is one of my favorite novels.
P. A .: We met in the construction team after the first course, 45 years ago. Together we pulled some piece of iron and somehow started talking about Freud. I do not remember who, but one of us used the word "libido", whereas few people familiar. Second it did rack. And it turned out that we both read the book "Pavlov and Freud," which contained, of course, harsh criticism of Freudianism, but was, however, rare.
B. K .: I will say sentimentally: book "Pavlov and Freud" was external thing. A friendship determined coincidence some internal vibrations. Sometimes I meet a person and understand: this is my friend. It is a rarity and a great holiday. Among my friends there are those with whom I met later. But it is symptomatic that they are all well Petya's friends, as was previously not known.
B. K .: We met in 1968, and in the 82 th, I left the country.
P. A .: It was very hard on the wires at the airport, I just cried. It was a disaster, a tragedy. Because it was - forever. In those days there was no hope of return.
B. K .: Do you think what I was doing when the plane took off? I cried the whole way. I saved a Soviet passport, hoping that I would come back in four months. But I came four years later.
P. A .: We talked on the phone, but it seemed that the distance between us irresistibly. When four years later the phone rang and I heard the voice of Bakhyt, I lost consciousness. Maybe just for a second, but it was a heavy blow. He arrived unannounced and rang the bell already from Moscow.
If it was not you ...
B. K .: If it were not for this friendship, it had not been me ... But I'm not going to speak here in the infinite love in the pages of history!
P. A .: Of course, I will not say such things loud. We could not meet, and then it would be something else. But the meeting with Bakhyt and our long intercourse by 90 percent shaped my current spiritual state. Up to my present-day activities - I have worked with a blunt fellow at the Chemical Institute, and probably so would have continued, if I started to write - through Bakhyt he dragged me into the studio, "Ray," I started with poetry and end the end to do what I needed.
B. K .: I published 16 books. What I have Pete as a poet? Peter acted in my life ritual mockery of triumph, once enacted in ancient Rome. No matter what I wrote, he says it's rubbish and nonsense. And it is right. One should not become conceited. P. A .: And you never take offense?
B. K .: Of course, never, you have special rights. And I love you not because of how you feel about my poems.
B. K .: Men's and women's friendship - no, do not divide so! We are not limited to sexual function and although different from each other, but this innocent differences. Regardless of gender, we need those who are engaged in the same things we do, and at the same level. If I love to sculpt clay mice, I'm not going to Michelangelo, and those who like to sculpt mice.
It is believed that women love to talk about cooking and the men of the sport. I love - about cooking, I have friends with whom I discuss how to bake pies. Let life be diversified.
P. A .: I do not agree. "Selfless friendship men", as sung in the old song, there is no diversity in the search. On the contrary, it is a point of contact, the exact coincidence - it is important to find a man with whom you can speak completely openly discuss all the things that you really care about. This is not possible with everyone!
We therefore and make friends with people of the same sex with us, we have the same ideas about life
Still view of life in men and women are different, and because we are friends with people of the same sex with us, that we have these ideas coincide.
P. A .: We have never been in love with a girl, despite the fact that we have had many love affairs. It happened that I was getting girls by Bakhyt "inherited", but we did not want at the same time never the same. And in these stories with a sequel, perhaps to a greater extent by the girls and were invented - because Bakhyt and there was not much love for them, but just some relationship, and then she began to be interested in his friend, is quite common. We are somehow engaged with Bakhyt love with one girl, three. The idea was to her - she admitted that she had such unmet sexual dreams and chosen as guinea us Bakhyt. I did not like. The girl was pretty, but I knew that he would prefer it alone.
To be friends with women
B. K .: Mystic difference between men and women! .. There is a close friend, with whom I had no carnal relations. Nevertheless, there is always an invisible balance - I can not even look at the smartest woman without a secret lust. Since God created us, it is not logical, but it is beautiful.
P. A .: I do not believe in friendship with a woman. I admit that it happens, but I do not believe! Common interests, conversations - is behind this desire, not necessarily expressed, and even conscious, but it is always there. And if out of the relationship with a woman erotic feelings go, it will soon turn sour, and everything else, and did not want to talk about anything.
B. K .: Yes, it Petina formula about friendship with a woman, "either before, after, or during, but never together." Probably so. And I do not see why this upset! The existence of two poles - men and women - makes the world charged. But sometimes you just want to discuss the problems of the world without this charge.
Here, for example, we are talking with Peter about the fate of the bill. We had a long and pleasant to talk - but if on-site Petit was a woman, a good and clever, I still, instead of discussing the bill, would be to look at its "upper department", and it would break for my thoughts.
And still - love?
B. K .: Love is commitment, unfortunately. In friendship there. None, except one - if one got sick, you have to pay him a visit.
P. A .: Love and friendship differ in the amount of forgiveness. When you love, you forgive a lot. That's when Bakhit, for example, comes, I'm just doing what was removed. I can not stand untidiness - but it throws glasses and shakes off the ashes anywhere, and I accepted! In this sense we most love.
I do not think he - the only person with whom I could be matched in outlook. But there is one factor - it is difficult to determine, but it is - because we choose someone else. And he too is in love between a man and a woman - in fact it would be desirable to have almost each and love there is not always.