28 questions that bring people
You think you know a good partner? You're definitely on the same wavelength with her best friend? No one knows your child better than you? Therapist Rachel Finci believes that we often confuse a superficial knowledge of a man with a true intimacy. It explains how to create the conditions for a loved one you opened.
Even if you are often in close contact with loved ones, it does not mean that you understand their true motives and desires. Perhaps you know where my husband likes to relax, which group loves girlfriend and a son enjoys the game. But you may not realize that doing close happy, scared, angry, or motivating. But you will definitely want to know the answers to these questions, right?
Usually, one person talks about himself more than a second. If you will take turns asking each other questions below, it will help balance and strengthen the relationship closeness. Also, since you show loved ones that really want to know more about it.
Start with simple and safety issues:
- What do you do to recover when no matter what forces are not present?
- What was most striking in the present day?
- How do you think, on what character you resemble?
- If you had three days off and any amount of money, what would you do?
- Who was your favorite teacher in school and why?
- In a most unusual place you've been?
- What have you learned from the work?
- What hobby would you choose, if I was not limited in time and money?
- What do you like more: to plan or improvise?
- What would you like to learn more?
- Who helped you become who you are now, who are most affected?
- How do you like to start the day?
- If all the works had the same schedule and salary, what would you do?
- What you would expect in the near future?
With close as possible to raise questions:
- What does it matter what happened today, motivates you to move forward?
- What event made you stronger?
- What are you usually think?
- How do you think people?
- What are for you the most important thing in a man, and that is unacceptable?
- What are you most often need help?
- What is the problem you are now trying to solve?
- From a habit you get rid of the most difficult thing?
- What do you think would help you give it up?
- What useful habit you should have to start earlier?
- What made you finally make it?
- Did this to you: something started badly and ended well?
- If you only live one day, what would you do first?
- What else would you like to tell us about yourself?
Watch for verbal and nonverbal reaction of the interlocutor. If he hesitates to answer, do not force it. You can share your answers to some questions, but do not overtighten the conversation itself. Speak in turn, without interrupting each other. Technique used in family therapy when one or both partners feel that others do not hear.
The main thing - to feel loved, that his notice and accept that it will not be rejected and will not argue with him. Show a sincere interest in the other, definitely take it - one of the greatest gifts that you can make. Try.
About the Author: Rachel Finzi - psychotherapist, works in the University of California in Los Angeles.