How to recognize a daffodil on a first date
"There are many varieties of daffodils: sociable talkers, shy introverts, even proudly donating a people - says psychologist Craig Malkin. - But they all have in common. They share a distaste for emotional openness, sincerity and vulnerability. " What's common between daffodils? Malkin and other experts list the 6 signs that should make you wonder.
1. He planned out to the smallest detail date
To his credit, he chose the restaurant itself, actively encourages the best dishes on the menu and knows exactly what a bar is worth a visit after dinner. Of course, it is nice that someone else he took care of everything and all cplaniroval. But daffodils decide everything themselves for one reason: the uncertainty in the plans can lead to the fact that things do not go the way they would like, and they do not like it very much.
"Such people usually do not ask, what would you prefer, and do all the organizing. If a new acquaintance insists that it was he who decided how to pass a date, maybe he just wants to give you a dizzying adventure. But it is possible another explanation: perhaps he was used to that everything happens just the way he likes, "- said Malkin.
2. It strangles you care and love
You may only choose snacks and your companion already says how good you are for each other, and lists options for joint leisure on weekends. At first, this may be of interest to flatter, but "demonstrative manifestation of attention and care, so attempt to place you to myself - this is one of the signs of narcissism" - says family therapist from Los Angeles Virginia Gilbert. "It is so admiring attitude can turn a your head, you forget that planning a joint future early. In fact, the rose is trying to pick up on the hook for you to get what he needs - often physical intimacy, money, communication, care, "- Gilbert explains.
3. He "accidentally" is starting to praise the
Most of them like to show off, but those who have narcissistic traits particularly pronounced, learned to do it secretly. "They are perfectly able to create the right impression about myself and at first would not open the exhibit narcissism and arrogance," - says Tina Swithin, a consultant on divorce, the author of "Divorce with daffodil - advice from the battlefield."
"Skillful can casually mention that he went to an expensive gym or always fly only first class, but it is done so subtly and gracefully that the interlocutor may not arise any suspicion. Not so skillful begin to boast a diploma from a prestigious university, or the size of a new apartment than the risk of irritating "- Swithin explained.
4. It is rude attendants
"Notice how the satellite belongs to the waiters, salespeople, taxi drivers. Perhaps, over time, he also begins to apply to you, "- says Darlene Lancer, family therapist and author of" Codependency for "dummies". "Rudeness and arrogance in dealing with personnel demonstrate low self-esteem and narcissistic traits, inner anger, excessive demands, tendency to emotional abuse", - adds Lancer.
5. He assured that seeks the love of a lifetime, but it did not last long past novels
"On a date, you can hear that he can not find a decent man. Coming soon likely, the relationship came to an end every time, as soon as they appeared genuine emotional intimacy. Daffodils are looking for perfection, but find a partner some shortcomings, and then throw it and continue the search, "- says Lancer.
"Pay attention to all the problems and troubles in their previous relationships, they will talk, ignore them bragging and compliments," - she recommends.
6. He is interested in your weaknesses, but do not want to show their
Daffodils may scold you for what you have missed the opportunity to get a promotion, or to joke about the fact that you do not learn in the most prestigious college, but they will not be happy if you allow yourself to something similar to them.
"You will discuss your weaknesses and vulnerabilities, the past, but he or she will never talk about their own difficulties. You would think that you open up to each other, and then you realize that the two of you once you have opened the soul to the interlocutor. For narcissus is a great strategy to feel its power in a situation of imminent discomfort, but for you it should be a wake-up call, heralding the problem. In a relationship with a narcissist, you will always be under the fire of his criticism, "- said Malkin.
Source: Huffington Post