7 rules of survival in relation to paranoid
Agonizing jealousy, daily interrogation about who you dinner as you watch fellow and why did you come back home 9 minutes later than usual ... pass this attitude on the part of the partner is very difficult. Therapist Hope Arnold offers 7 steps to remedy the situation.
If the partner has paranoid tendencies, they can then be amplified, then weakened with the passage of time. But they will always be "background" of relations. Paranoia manifests itself as a desire to maintain control at all costs. In romantic relationships, this usually means that the partner may collect information about you, interrogate you, to search, track your movements, adjust trap blame lies, examine the contents of your phone and computer.
This behavior does not seem strange to him, and he may even try to convince you that his actions are quite reasonable and justified. Do not be deceived - it is merely trying to get rid of the torments of his anxiety at your expense. It is impossible to know everything that is going on in another person's life, to the details, and who needs it? Do you want to know how many times your partner go to the toilet, or to find out what he thinks your mother a bitch, or listen to a story about how the waiter broke a plate at dinner time? Of course not. Therefore, we evaluate what information worth sharing.
Such people are endlessly ponder every little thing - seemingly insults, deceits, which in fact was not. What they consider the facts, it is often just a figment of their imagination. Paranoia is very negative impact on the physical and mental health of both partners. If a loved one is suffering from excessive suspiciousness, but you love him and do not want to leave, that's what you can do:
do not abandon their feelings and experiences under pressure suspicions partner, remember he is right
1. Just tell me what you want a healthy relationship. Discuss the topic so that the partner did not feel a threat or aggression: tell us about your feelings, about the actions that caused the disorder, that you want to normalize and develop relations. You may have to stay a little longer, "the jammed plate," over and over again that the baseless accusations and constant surveillance adversely affect your mental health and wellbeing.
2. Get help from a psychologist. Psychotherapy for couples can be effective to overcome the negative impact of the paranoia of one of the partners. Suggest that a family therapist. Given the distrust, the paranoia that always accompanies the first few sessions may take place is very difficult. Because of their mistrust partner incredulously take to the idea of therapy. It is important to take the time to give partners the opportunity to become better acquainted with the therapist and talk about their experiences in a comfortable pace for him. Do not give up on their feelings and experiences under the pressure of a partner suspicion remember right. Remember that his unhealthy ideas have nothing to do with reality.
3. In no case does not admit guilt, if innocent. Do not accept false accusations. I worked with a couple where the husband is abusive after endless interrogations by the wife "confessed" that he kissed another woman, but actually did not. According to him, he just wanted to stop the questioning and decided that it would be the easiest way to achieve this. Unfortunately, its recognition only further inflamed the suspicions of his wife, and eventually she filed for divorce. 4. Do not forget to take care of themselves. Find a way to relax and relieve emotional stress: good help to yoga, sports or exercise, breathing exercises. It is very important to a healthy diet. If, however, on the basis of the problems in the relationship you have developed depression or anxiety disorder, you may need more serious treatment.
5. Ask for the support of a person you trust. This could be a friend, a colleague, a psychotherapist. If you have someone who can listen without judging, and get serious about your feelings, it will bring you relief and will help maintain balance while you solve the accumulated problems. paranoid partners often feel very lonely: the shame does not allow them to talk about what is really going on in the relationship. Unfortunately, this only adds to their isolation.
6. Take a break in the relationship. This allows you to think things calmly, without haste. If you live together, do you think, can not move temporarily to another location. But your care can frighten a partner, it is very important to be able to deal with what is happening in a quiet environment to find the right solution for both of you.
7 Do not put a diagnosis on their own. Paranoia - a sign of serious mental health problems such as depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, psychosis, paranoid personality disorder, schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. Do not attempt to diagnose partner. Contact a professional who can properly assess the full set of signs. If you partner suspicions deprived of normal life, do not be afraid, it can be returned.
About the Author
Hope Arnold, a psychotherapist, for behavioral therapy expert.