Annoying relatives: how to protect privacy
how to protect personal privacy
Family holidays - a tradition that allows you to maintain relationships with loved ones. But sometimes unpleasant warm meetings end with questions on his personal life. "Why do not you get married? When already have forged a child? "- most do not want to discuss it. We understand how to deal with excessive curiosity.
Almost every year on the eve of holidays comedian in Los Angeles Mary Mack and her husband went to another city to visit relatives, they will inevitably have to answer the question why they did not create a child: "In addition it is sometimes necessary to listen to one another:" And you will not regret that you do not have children? ".
This year, the couple decided to change everything. They all wrote on Christmas cards: No children they are still there, but instead they got himself another baby - a puppy, "to the postcard, we have attached a note where it is written:" This year, for the holidays, we're not going anywhere, even to the parents, we were very tired. I hope you will be able to relax and you will begin to take the rubbish for recycling. Dog Dingo, our baby, very supports it. "
Something feasts makes relatives to forget about the rules of decency
Not one Mary in horror waiting for the holidays, birthdays and other occasions for the feast, which lead to inquiries about their personal lives. Maybe to blame pouring wine river or boredom after a celebratory dinner, but something in family feasts have it that makes all the relatives to forget about the rules of decency. You can, of course, to follow the example of Mary Mack and do not go to visit them, but this option is not for everyone. If communication with Snoopy family can not be avoided, the therapist Tara Griffith advises to think in advance the answers to expected questions. "If you went with a partner, you can answer like this:" Yes, the separation was given hard, but it was the right decision. Now I am much better. " And try to change the subject: "Do you watch too much that has changed, tell us about a new home."
She also advises in advance a list of forbidden topics: "We are talking about the topics and issues that cause unpleasant emotions and memories, or just cause discomfort. For example, for whom you voted in the election, he met and so on. "
If you know that you can cause, have prepared answers to expected questions, you no longer will catch unawares. "In this case, you have the right to avoid answering. The main thing is try to do it politely and tactfully, because you are not communicating with strangers and family members "- like a social psychologist Susan Newman, author of the book" 365 ways to say "no." - You have the right answer: "Thank you for asking, but I do not want to talk about it today," or "It's a long story. I tell it some other time. Phrases show that you appreciate the care and concern that you show, the enable avoid answering too intrusive questions.
You do not have to tell anyone how to split up with someone you love or you cut, even if asked a relative. "Do you have to tell all the details? Not necessary. If you know that you can cry or you just unpleasant this topic, honestly admit it, without going into details. Make clear to others where you have to draw the line permissible "- says an expert on etiquette Diana Gottesman. Source: Huffington Post
The family - is the support, here we love and accept these as is, support and forgive, no matter what happens. So it should be ideally. But, unfortunately, the relatives are different, and some of them manage to poison our lives. By what symptoms to determine what toxic relationship with them?
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