Hypocrisy and hypocrisy: how they form and why we are destroying

We are not always ready to admit these unflattering qualities, but in others they are evident. Why human behavior may be inconsistent with the publicly declared views and imaginary bonuses for which he is forced to live under the mask, crumble like a house of cards?

Hypocrisy and hypocrisy: how they form and why we are destroying

How is born of hypocrisy?

Most often in childhood child understands advantageous to be obedient and speak to adults what they want to hear. Mom would put the example of his brother or sister, and it can be used. If praise grandmother is not very tasty soup, get a secret from their parents sweets. Testing the world of adults who love flattery, and every time receiving positive reinforcement, the child takes this successful, as it seems, the script into adulthood.

The internal conflict

"My aunt considers himself a religious man, proud to be indulging in the pleasures of life, which reproaches me and others, - says Olga. - Faith does not make it kinder on the majority of relatives and friends, she says with disdain. Piety does not prevent her to believe in horoscopes. "

"Gaining features hypocrite, a person learns many aspects of the life of a blind eye - explains therapist Veronica Stepanova. - In the present case does not show kindness to the neighbor, and trust horoscopes. These phenomena are mutually conflicting. Man feels his own hypocrisy, because the internal conflict is born that leads to neurotization. Growing tension often removed by the humiliation of others or alcohol. "

Hypocrisy and hypocrisy: how they form and why we are destroying

Bigotry as the flip side of hypocrisy

Attempts to raise its importance at the expense of belittling others and ostentatious demonstration of positive (often imaginary) properties say that a man is strong internal parents. Controlling start replaces the unconscious desire and craving. As a rule, it all begins in childhood if parents are too strict, the only way to adapt to the child becomes a sham ideal behavior. The vast natural children's wishes: to actively explore the world, to be naughty, be wrong to argue.

When such people grow up, they seem to be shameful not only enjoy delicious food or sex, but also a manifestation of freedom, the desire to go its own way, critical attitude to the view shared by the majority.

Gusts someone condemn often only reflect our fears and unspoken desires

"These qualities are present in all of us, suddenly appearing in different moments of life. But if the other we quickly notice them, track them in yourself is difficult - like Veronica Stepanova. - But gusts of someone condemned often only reflect our fears and unspoken desires. "

So what to do? Be honest with yourself and always try to understand what lies behind our emotions. This is the only possibility to maintain inner peace and to choose their own way in life.

Hypocrisy and hypocrisy: how they form and why we are destroying

About the expert

Veronica Stepanova - a psychotherapist. Her channel.