Low self-esteem? Be attentive to yourself
A man with low self-esteem perceives himself as unworthy, incompetent, all the unloved. How to get out of the pool self-critical thoughts? The therapist Deborah Ward offers ten solutions.
The psychotherapist Deborah Ward, author of "How to overcome low self-esteem by means of awareness," knows how to deal with self-doubt: "Using my recommendations, you will become more attentive and learn to look at ourselves, to others and to life situations objectively, will cease to resist the negative effects of the past and realize that you always have a choice. And then your life will change. "
1. Keep a journal
Try to write in normal copybook your thoughts and everything that happened to you during the day. It helps to look at ourselves and assess yourself objectively, as well as to separate the good from the bad.
2. Do not take yourself
Be impartial. Evaluate yourself, family, friends, their experience, their ups and downs sober, do not hang up on them the labels "good", "bad" ... Do not be ashamed of them, but do not exalt themselves.
3. Be aware of your feelings
Be careful with the emotions that cause you your fears. Learn to make a pause between feelings and actions, then your actions are not spontaneous but deliberate.
4. Use only the
Do not change yourself for other people, not in a hurry to please everyone and all to please. Look inside yourself and feel like you have to do it in this situation, do not let anyone influence you.
5. Live "here and now"
If you concentrate on what is happening, you can think about their actions and to act as the situation demands, without having to worry about the future and not repeat the mistakes of the past.
When there is a problem, try not to act on autopilot approach to solving any problem creatively
6. Try meditation
Meditation helps to get rid of unnecessary thoughts, calm down and take the right decision. Sit down, relax, breathe deeply and steadily. Imagine that in this world there is only you, but all the problems, unpleasant thoughts and feelings are fleeting and ephemeral, like clouds in the sky.
7. Get involved in your life
Do not go with the flow, take life into their own hands. When a problem arises, try not to act on autopilot approach to solving any problem creatively, and soon you will be able to look at your life from a very different mood.
8. Stay newcomer
Look at everything in a new light, forget about the old and familiar patterns of behavior. Behave as if you can see and feel it for the first time, be open and honest with yourself, do not try to conform to someone else's expectations, even his own.
9. Let go and forget to
Try to forget about who you are and what you should do. Learn to trust yourself and choose what in the first place to you.
10. Treat yourself with an understanding of
Do not hesitate to show the sympathy and compassion - you deserve it exactly the same way as everyone else. Learn to treat yourself with love, understanding, and you will feel much more confident.
"Mom, you're a psychologist. You probably know the way, as I become more confident, "- said one evening, 16-year-old Andrew, sitting beside me on the couch. "And what exactly do you want to know?" - I asked. "Well, when I'm talking with a girl who I like, I do not know what to say ..."
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