What keeps a family? Councils wishing to marry
But is little able to overcome a lot? It is a huge amount of ants can trample an elephant? And if it is not ants and wasps - then what?
Trivia, drab, mundane little things ... Again ...
But what exactly are these wretched little things that are often stronger than the old feelings and attitudes? Why did they turn from ant swarms in Aspen? And why these ants are not only trample elephants, but life itself?
The word "little things" sounds like something abstract ... This concept may include up to half of the world overnight ... What is this stuff?
Trivia - it neprogovorennye expectations. One person in relation to the other, and vice versa.
Neprogovorennye expectations - a delayed-action mine, placed on the whole route. Along the perimeter of a lifetime ...
We bury the mines everywhere. The relationship between the spouses, between friends and companions among employees. Even between parents and children. But the mines have properties to explode. And for some reason they do not explode in empty rooms, and in crowded waiting rooms. Neprogovorennye people's expectations ...
No doubt, everyone is nice to hear: "I love you", but so arranged that, in a word, each of us puts its special significance. Their individual sense. Word-the same, but the palette of incalculable value. Same story with words such as "friend", "friendship", "help", "work", and so on. N.
Of course, I understand that the universal recipe, probably not. But still…
And let's clarify their expectations:
1. In the sphere of intimate relations.
What should be the frequency, acceptable and unacceptable? What could be the reasons for the refusal of reciprocity? Clarify the concept of quality sex, it's for everyone. Explain to one another why. This virus is transmitted only by air. If you are about something or think of something you want, then it ought to say, because I thought no sound is not transmitted through the air ...
2. In respect of children and their upbringing.
Should or should not you have children. How many? Drinking abortion.
Relationship with penalties. What can and what can not be categorically? All the best for children and their parents all the best? Strictness or permissiveness? Pope scolds, and my mother defends? Or do not make each other remarks at children?
Eat porridge, but buy a daze, "iPhone", or let the content with your old phone?
3. In respect of the allocation of responsibilities at home.
Who cooks, cleans, washes? What we do together, and that individual? Which means "cooked" and what it means to "remove"? Who buys the products and in what amounts?
4. With respect to parents.
The new family - a new sovereign state, which has its own government and boundaries? Or a new young family - a colonial province of the empire of the parent? How do we relate to the diplomatic rules of law that strictly regulate, for example, a declaration of war after crossing the territorial boundaries?
5. With regard to friends.
Having friends - this is the norm, luxury or necessity? Or maybe, friends - is a virus that does harm to your family?
Divorced girlfriend wife husband or friends - this is what strengthens or destroys our family?
boyfriends or girlfriends who have "eternal" issues that need to be addressed? Attitude toward them.
- Is it possible to compare the two hours daily phone conversation with my friend with your football and bath? After all, I'm home when I talk, and you're not.
- Is that you at home? But when you talk to her, you're not at home - you're in space!
6. With respect to the family budget (formation and use).
What waste of money will be the priority? On what you can spend the money on their own, and on the need to consent?
If all the money is going to build a house, it is appropriate or inappropriate to his wife to go to Greece in August on a month vacation?
If the husband gives his wife all the money, then it should make a report at the end of the month or not?
7. With regard to faith and God.
We go to church or not (confess and partake)? Baptize children or not? Mandatory or not prayer before eating and after using it, as well as a prayer every morning and night?
8. For hobbies or attachments, weaknesses and habits.
Talking on the phone with her mother, watching TV, playing on the computer, fishing and so on. N. To how much time can be spent, not to "infringe upon" the other?
9. With respect to the physical form each other and appearance.
In 20 all slender and voiceless, but for some reason it has become more and more in 10-20 years, "good" person. And this "more" often does not bring joy to others. Does a woman 30-50 years to care for themselves, as it looked in the 20th?
Mandatory or not for men gym? What is the priority for us: slim body or a hearty dinner?
10. In respect of small controlled character traits. Pronunciation of the shortcomings and the formation of tolerance towards them. For example, hysteria, or a nagging wife or a "bust" in the drinking her husband. Does "excuse" is acceptable, "Well, I was (so), and accept me as (a) as it is ..."?
A clear definition of wrongdoing.
Quarrel. Quarrel on trifles. How long we will pout - it is not "nada" or until the evening of the day? How to deal with those who physically can not ask for forgiveness? Another asks for two or still ask "through I can not"?
11. In relation to the time spent together.
It would seem, of no matter where in the candy buketny period can not get enough of each other and stop talking.
"It is important for me to get you to listen (s) me when I come home from work."
"How are you on Sunday you go fishing, if Sunday - it's time to go to the movies?"
p. s. Some of the above expectations are very important, some less, some are "cornerstones" stones, some may be left without attention. Or maybe you'll have your burning questions and expectations. It does not matter ... And it is important, really important that ants trampled elephant ...
Tailwind your yacht family life!