Baby chameleon

He is so fickle. He was with his mother - the one with the Pope - the other, with his grandmother - the third. With dad "silk" mom cranky (or vice versa). After a visit to her grandmother all the educational achievements of their parents disappear, as if the child had never brought up.

What happens to the baby?

Why does a child so change their behavior?

With the baby "comes" all that and must occur. The child grows up, matures and is trying to navigate the world of relationships. He is trying on different roles, focusing on how it is more convenient to be. Every particular person - based on their own desires and inner sense of security. For a successful life is useful to have experience in different roles, and the "richer repertoire", the better for the person. Worse, if well studied, only one role.

In the family, the child often just have to be a "chameleon".

This happens when the parents can not agree among themselves about the basic principles and views on life in general and the education of the child in particular. Pope calls one, Mom - another, and my grandmother - remove the requirement and that, and another - a very common family model. At such moments, the child needs to decide what to do. In fact - to choose for whom he now for the pope (against the mother) or mother (against the Pope) or grandma (against the parents). Do so - upset my mother, do not do - anger the Pope (there can be different combinations). It is extremely difficult for a child - to choose between the native people, whom he loves and by whom (and he understands) and depends on his life at the moment, and for many years ahead.

  • He often chooses "against all".

    The house begins the real "war for power." Unmanageable child, parents are at a loss, "tightening the screws".

  • The child can choose "against anyone."

    It becomes quiet, very comfortable. That said, it does, trying to please everyone. But gradually it becomes clear that he does not have his own opinion, and if there is, it can not protect him and quickly abandons him. This "neither fish nor fowl."

  • The child also tends to choose "for himself".

    And uses an inconsistency between the adults in their favor. And if it suddenly became apparent that nothing is easier to organize a "clash" between adults, and while they are there understand each other, it is quietly making its own way.

And what happens in his "inner world?" There - complete instability and insecurity. Very disturbing. Make choices, be responsible for the "adult" things - for the child's mind is difficult doable task.

I want a stable support. In a clear, agreed between all the close adults landmarks as "good" and "poor", that "it is possible" and that "it is impossible". If the mother has forbidden sweet, the rides in the park - as you want, and ice cream - no. If the Pope said that the computer only after school, the mother see to it that the child came to these classes and get after them the desired gadget. If the parents against the sausages, the grandmother will have to learn how to cook delicious other dishes.

The "difficult" child, the more difficult to agree among themselves the parents, but the more important is this "unique adult attitude" for the child.