(Do not) Trust in the world. Installation on the (un) happiness
In one of the standard psychological tests have a statement that reads: "people are indifferent and indifferent to what happens to you."
In the same test, aimed at the study of human adaptive capacity and its general psycho-emotional stability, yet a lot of different questions. But this seems to me particularly important, one of the central beliefs of man:
- or it sounds like "can not trust anyone," I'm alone in this world,
- or - on the contrary - "I am not alone. If something happens - will help me. "
What are the consequences of the first option?
A bit of theory.
The basic trust in the world - this concept was introduced by American psychologist and historian E. Erickson. Basic trust is formed in the first few years of life (different researchers have different definitions of the duration of this period - from one year to 3), if there is no "failure" in contact with the mother and the child feels her love.
In the first few months of life, the child does not perceive themselves as "separate" from the mother, it is "fused" with it together. If in this period mother nearby and at the first sign of the child appears, takes the hand - the child has formed trust, which then spread to other people and the world at large. This trust has nothing to do with blind naivete or "pink glasses" - which is exactly sure sense of calm, anxiety and lack of confidence in the reliability of the surrounding area, in the solid ground under your feet, prop. If for various reasons, the deep unconscious trust is not formed - the child, and then, and an adult, it would be extremely difficult to form deep connections with other people, because the inside is always sitting worm of doubt: and if he will not leave me?
In addition, the internal built-in current events monitoring and evaluation of the indicator is always accompanied by a vague sense of danger coming from around the world (and in fact by their own faith in it), which also does not relax and be happy and forces to be always on the alert.
In our country, a whole generation of people, who is the most basic sense of trust simply could not be formed. They are not to blame as well as not guilty and their parents. Nor did our grandmothers and great-grandmothers of our opportunity to grow their children - our mothers and fathers, being next to them. Manger with 2 months - and on the job, what really nothing to the formation of attachment. Other realities. Fortunately, the situation has now changed.
Life with the unconscious or the conscious attitude of distrust of the world acquires different, but very similar verbal forms that reflect her:
- "I have no one to help, I do not need anyone";
- "Everyone is looking for only their own benefit";
- "No one to trust - the most secure";
- "Man to man - the wolf";
- "only rely on themselves";
- "The world is cruel";
- "All people have to deal only himself."
The life of such installations is very savory. People who are around, keep away, because the inner sense recalls that it was not safe - can bring, throw, to offend, to bring, to deceive. Thus formed inner loneliness. External contacts are - but they are superficial and those who are close, one way or another made it clear: "But for this line - no, no!".
Partners of "not trust" people complain about feeling a certain wall between them, that they are not allowed close "as if" do not trust. And they come to a psychologist with requests that can not be revealed to other people, or that there is any relationship at all, or their loved ones really go - in general, personal life does not add up.
Analyze your relationship with the world.
Take a piece of paper and a pen and try, without analyzing, continue following few sentences:
- Most people ...
- People who engage in volunteering ...
- If you're going to help others - ...
- If I get in trouble ...
- If you're going to trust the world, then ...
- In difficult situations, I ...
- The future seems to me ...
- If all against me, then ...
- No one to trust - ...
- In relations with others the most important thing ...
Look at their answers. What is it - your world view? whether it suits you? If suddenly you are sure that nobody can be trusted and should always be prepared for a slap in the face of life or the people around them - helps you if this installation or if you are willing to put her question, to understand how and why it is so ..?
In fact, in life there is very little objective - continuous subjectivity, because everything is refracted on our attitudes, beliefs, attitudes and personal experience. Thus, it may be wise to adjust what does "our" world of sad and insecure? Improve their lives is never too late!
And now to the main point:
possible to restore basic trust in the world?
No. It is impossible to return the plant to the bone condition and sprout it again, observing all the rules.
Perhaps you are frustrated you say, "well, then why is that all?".
Is it possible to learn how to open, do not be afraid to trust and get rid of the plants, all living Silencing emotions towards you and away from you?
Of course, yes!
And if you feel that is written in this article about you - you know what to change their own patterns of behavior is quite possible, but to live with the installation of happiness is much nicer!
And how great of this life changing!