What is neurosis
It all starts from childhood
Part of Sigmund Freud was right. Only in the modern psychology of growing up a child it is understood not as easy as it used to be.
The main thing that we, psychologists look today - a model of education. Educated people predisposed to neurotic disorders, how can parents be strictly avoided, and the soft, loving. Of course, if the child is not in a comfortable psychological atmosphere will require additional individual work. But if we talk about prednevroze importantly, what behaviors were vaccinated in early childhood - on them further adaptation is based.
A bit exaggerated, but a simple example: a girl instill the idea that you have to be necessarily good, and the term "good", consciously or not, is treated as "compliant".
- Give the last sweet little brother, he's a little, and you're good;
- Give your girlfriend a toy in a sandbox, because she asks, and you're good - mother says, ignoring the girl herself wants candy, and of course, playing with his toy, maybe even more than a friend.
Nothing will happen if such cases are rare. But when this happens often, and even reinforced by the fact that a nice girl like, and bad (when she is trying to achieve what she wants) - reject.
The difficult situation
So a person brought up with prednevrozom lives - and everything seems to be fine. But life changes, the circumstances are different, and in a period of difficult situation arises. And the for each type of education, predisposed to neurotic disorders, options and difficult situations are different. In the sense that the other person sees in the same situation a complex and solve it. But if the pattern of behavior is contrary to the situation - the situation just seems unsolvable. Let us return to our already matured a good girl. Suppose she grew up and fell in love. But she fell in love with yet another man who gets what he wants and asks for her hand and heart. I would have brought it in another way - it would be denied and to build relations with those with whom you want. But things work differently. The girl first tries to explain something, but the boy gets what he wants, and requests (directly or indirectly) does not hurt him. And she had a good girl, so agrees to follow his adaptation, rooted in early childhood.
The situation is quite serious. After all, life - this is not a toy in the sandbox, not candy, and even homework, which she gave to write off at school to be good.
This is where the is activated the mechanism of neurotic disorders. She does not want a society new husband, but to admit it can neither others nor ourselves. from the unbearable situation of the aid comes symptom. This can manifest as psychosomatic, as panic attacks, lump in the throat, pain, psychological, IRR, GAD, and everything else that can not be cured by general practitioners (in fact at the roots of psychological symptoms).
So, symptom is triggered as a lifeline. After all, he allows her to stay a good girl and not in her husband's society.
- Go to the movies alone / friends / relatives. You go one on holiday - I'm sick. And we will not sleep in the same room for the same reason.
symptom of neurotic disorders - a way to adapt. And it works so that the man himself would never guess that the heart aches (panic attacks occur, and so on. D.) Because of the internal psychological conflict. Therefore, completely covered by symptom and completely forgetting about what is happening in my life, fear for his health, he would go to general practitioners. And well, if after inspection, be sure to exclude bodily disease on the manifest symptom, he will be sent off to a good psychologist. It sometimes happens that a person does not want to believe that his health is not in danger, and walks over the years by different doctors, who still can not find anything. Years treated tonic and sedative pills, which only exacerbates the situation. Drug therapy is aimed at symptom in 50% of cases helps to remove it, but to replace the old symptom comes more severe. And the longer a neurotic disorder in a person sits, the longer and more thoroughly later need to work a psychologist or psychotherapist.
What will happen to our good girl then?
Let's be kind and imagine that the general practitioner referred her to a good psychologist. The psychologist has helped to identify the causes of what is happening to her and to consider several options for further action: some of them require further living together with her husband, and some - not.