Do you also believe that "a woman should not be available, and the man to seek her?"

Let's look at today - what are the deeper causes of the myth of inaccessibility. Why is it so easy to believe in the fact that "a woman should not be available, and the man - it achieve?"

Because childhood experiences, his memory, says: "Why, it was. I know this pattern of behavior and attitudes. " And it is "unbreakable"!

Of course, you can consciously do not think so. But your unconscious do not doubt it. He has the "facts" - your unconscious fantasies and experience with parents who subsequently supervise your relationships with other people as adults.

And it follows from this that the mother could be felt inaccessible to children.

  • Girls identified with her mother. "I want to be like my mother" - they say themselves, and it is an unconscious choice. And an adult woman remembers how she loved my mother, how I wish it heat - and my mother could be felt cold and inaccessible "statue". And it could provoke a new imagination about what dad married my mother just because my mother this "inaccessible". That is, there is the fantasy that marriage can only be as such, as a mom. But the reality is often different, contrary to this fantasy (installation).
  • The boy sought his mother's attention and hated my mother for what did not receive due recognition, approval and love. And the desire to win "the inaccessible woman" is the unconscious desire to win at last her mother's love and attention.

But what to do with hate, resentment and anger? Of course, these feelings are superseded by a small child. On my mother can not obrushat their anger. And the woman - there is no prohibition. And after the "victory" and "conquest" all the negative partner is poured in the form of claims of jealousy and humiliation.

So, the myth of "the inaccessibility and conquest" rests on the injury. Therefore, it is so tenacious. You must make a conscious effort to change the setting, which acts on an unconscious level, and collectively as well.

After all, happy intimacy possible only between those people who have a mutual affection for each other. And there is an opportunity to feel relaxed in communication. And to know what will - and will not reject in different experiences. There is a sense of trust and "accessibility" to each other when it is needed - that is a real closeness.

And there is a clear division - what feelings to mom and dad and what a loved one. But this has come right. And sometimes it is years of personal analysis. You build relationships and try to understand and talk about what is happening to them - and this is an important skill to save the happy relationship.

Unavailability of women and the desire to achieve at any cost in men creates a strong tension in the body and the soul. People learn to seem not who they are, plus the company put systems on men - if they do not "macho", that is, do not tempt all women in a row (you already know from the previous article, "A woman should not be accessible?" That seduce - it is not "manly"). And if a woman allows herself to choose - it causes disapproval.

And it happens that the women pulls it to unavailable men. After all, married and dependent alcoholics - people are not available for real intimacy.

I believe that you can change your life scenarios.

I believe that you can be truly happy in a relationship with them first. In agreement with you can allow yourself to what you want. Dignity and self-respect, self-understanding will help you to find (and more importantly, to preserve and multiply) happiness in a relationship.

I will be glad to help you on individual consultations.