When the fateful words, "gave birth to themselves" is not a play on words

"gave birth to themselves" - these words in recent years, often heard at all, perhaps.

  • They recite and young women who have given birth to a child out of wedlock, trying to justify that gave birth without her husband, and be ready for the child and his mother and father.
  • They repeated to himself and others living alone who bore closer to the climax, the mother, who did not find a suitable for a variety of reasons couples for marriage.
  • Sometimes a child "for himself", "appointed" mom's favorite youngest child in the family, even if there is a dad (usually not significant for the wife).

is born "to themselves" can be called a special children who are destined or some sort of negative program - "serve" her mother, to be with his mother nearby.

The child, who always hears that he is born to moms, usually unknowingly carries a fateful mother scenario for him, as if he did not try to resist it. Fortunately, if born "for Mom" ​​baby gets in his youth to a good psychologist (and gets it most commonly depression, psychogenic disorders), who will be able to "calculate" his negative parental program and will help to fully overcome codependency with his mother before he begins to be realized parent script

Unfortunately, due to the overprotection, led by the parent instructions to live for her and to please her, these children often grow dependent and helpless, insecure. After studying, they can become good specialists. The weakest link for them is to create a family. They can not just get married, get married, have children, but the marriage is usually collapse because the maternal mandate only belong to mom returns them back to her.

And if they stay in the family, then continue to believe his family is not his wife, not husband and children, and the parent family in the face of my mother, because my mother's anxious message of "born to mothers" unknowingly possesses intelligence and will, even adults.

The wives of these men are not released their mothers come to a psychologist in an attempt to understand why such a sensitive to the mother's husband is indifferent to family responsibilities, children, and at every opportunity remains mum. Wives with negative programs "born to mothers' usually do not stay married for a long time: return to his mother after the birth of the child . During a brief marriage are in constant contact with his mother, complaining of intolerable husband, usually helpless to do anything without his mother.

Once I had to advise on Skype young woman with a request to find out why the beloved did not marry her. Client in living with him for several years. He is in every way suited to it (education, work, Apartment, cash collateral, sex). He was not just married. Pregnant beloved prohibits, with the wedding in a hurry. It turned out, despite the feelings for her, the man (his more than forty years), which time would have to have a family and children, very attached to his mother. Always busy providing mother and nephews, taking care of the mother (repairs, travel abroad). It has become apparent that the younger man's favorite son, born "for himself", said his family mom and not her whom he loves, with whom he lives and keeps house. Is it possible this beauty to hope that he would marry her? It is unlikely, while my mother was alive. However, there is a way: to convince a loved one to turn to family or personal psychologist to overcome codependency with her mother and "permission" to live for themselves and not for mothers.

However, we must understand that if he hears from his beloved word "codependency with my mother," "born to mothers", the path to a psychologist for him to shut down due to feelings of guilt because he "betrayed" her mother. For the initial treatment to a psychologist a person with this problem need other reasons, more sparing his feelings to her mother.

Another case.

Infantile giperopekaemaya girl soon got married and had children. Youngest bore "for himself", as it was alarming, helpless and did not want to let go of her. All my life I heard my daughter that was born "for itself", ie for Mom. Several times married, but my mother is constantly demanded attention, care, reminding that gave birth to it "for themselves." Daughters had to be mother of his youth, immature mother, who played the role of a hysterical, helpless and worrying daughter. The client already had my mother as a child, her mission was a child picked her mother, so she had her women's diseases. And she decided to opt to think about the possibility of the child's birth. The reason - the aging mother, which is necessary to dedicate his life. That gave rise to her high anxiety, depression. This is the typical fate of his daughter, born mom "for themselves."

What can make life easier, children born to mothers "for themselves"?

What to do to the mission of the people was not the ministry of the mother, so that they can live their life the way they want?

The most important thing - it is never spoken aloud with a child that you gave birth to a child "for himself", these words do not become a fatal program of his life.

Words or gestures or facial expressions or behavior do not let the child to understand, even if you think so myself and someone else say it.

And if the words were spoken, the should find a psychologist, who will release your child from the obligation to devote his life to you. I think you do, if you want your child to be successful and happy.

My dear readers!

All the cases described here, if they somehow resonate with you, consider a coincidence.