How to stop being afraid and start acting

How often do your actions stops fear?

Fear of rejection, the misunderstood, fear of mistakes, fear of losing the relationship ...

We each have our own fears and concerns. And sometimes it happens that they are so strong that we can not cope with them. This is impeding move forward and achieve their goals.

  • How can I help myself, when there is no power nor the will nor the conviction to do something?
  • How to "get rid of" the fear that sometimes literally strangles the best impulses?

I offer you another interesting way:

you will feed your own actions more fear

A little bit about the nature of fear

The fear is irrational.

You can as much as necessary to convince ourselves that fear is not necessary, to argue or be ashamed of themselves. All your evidence will be broken on the emotions.

Citing reasonable arguments a series of "nothing to fear", you turn to the mind, to the cerebral cortex to the higher mental functions, which are much younger than the limbic system, responsible for emotions. The activities of the limbic system influences the mind and consciousness, but is not directly recognized and can not be controlled by thoughts.

Simply put, they have a different language and trying to negotiate with the feeling through thought is like trying to negotiate in English with someone who understands only Hindi.

Fear - an ancient survival mechanism, which starts the reaction "fight or flight", inherited from ancestors. It does not matter that there is no lion, which would chasing you. Any fear, whether it is fear of rejection or the fear of failure, or even a fear activates these two options.

However, people have another option, which, in my view, is a subspecies of the flight - "stand still". Freeze, zakamenet not do anything ... Suddenly will pass by itself. In fact, when you "hit" response, then you have already coped with fear. The main thing is not to overdo it, fighting. Problems with the inability to act because of fear arise because of the reaction of "run" or "be still."

Fear lives right here and now.

For him, there is no future time, he did not expect the consequences, he's just trying to save you from the danger, which is real or simply a vision of you.

It is important to remember that when you start to operate, the fear departs, the body is mobilized to solve the current problem. In general, this is exactly what we need.

So, you can only win feelings alternation other senses, while it is good to still be aware of what lies beyond the external causes of fear, what you're really afraid of. It is necessary to shift the focus from the current moment.

Strategy for Victory over fear

1. Realize what exactly are you afraid of in a particular situation, which does not allow you to act on what you're running.

  • She sees a young man in a cafe on the other, and prefers not to sort things out. She was afraid that she might have a competitor and it will be not necessary.
  • An employee who is in good standing with the company, wants to claim the vacant higher position, but is afraid of rejection, for it is - a blow to his self-esteem and sense of self-esteem. And he pulls a conversation.
  • Young mother with labor-law makes intervention in the education of her child, but prefers to remain silent, because the conflict is intolerable for her, she does not want to lose the aid, afraid of being without the support and feels helpless

Note that in each of the situations described is what is obvious (fear of losing a partner, support of refusal), and that is a little deeper, inner fears. They are mostly related to the adoption of other and confirmation of self-worth. 2. investigate your own, try to understand what lies behind it. You can do this by asking, "And then what?". Ask it needs as long until you realize that reached to the heart, to understand his fear.

About internal dialogue might look as follows.

  • What happens if I ask a direct question about who was the girl in the cafe? What if she would rival and he just told me that good, there is no need to explain anything. I'm afraid of losing the relationship.
  • What are the worst would happen if I just invite the Director as a candidate? I was refused and hear about yourself something unflattering. I'm afraid of criticism.
  • If I make up my mind to speak to her mother in law, what I venture then? Its location? It is not the most important person. What else? Husband can support her, not me. And it's scary. And then what? Then I really can not stay here any longer, in this family, the very thought of it is unbearable for me.

While acknowledging their own, giving him a place, you have to make it smaller. The value of this exercise is also in the fact that, before reaching the reasons you get to choose. After all, the worst thing you imagine (and broken relationships, and criticism, and the failure of others) can actually manifest in your life. But now you have a choice: to go ahead and deal with the fear or to leave things as they are and take the road of adoption situation.

3. What will happen if I do this?

Now it's time to give free rein to their imagination and come up with the most terrible consequences of their inaction. We need to form a much greater fear than that situational, that we have now. And this fear should not frighten us so much in the moment, as the future consequences of what we succumbed a little fear

  • If I find out, I can not sleep, I can not embrace him. I'll be with him, but I can not be as sincere as ever. My suspicion, my irritability from the fact that I do not know the truth, as rust will slowly erode our relationship. And then I lost it. Similarly lose. And in this case it may also be that he did not do anything.
  • So today take and appoint for this position Petrov, so he will not miss his opportunity. And I and I will wallow in his department. And a year later, and after five and ten and I'll stay a good employee. And I will lead the people whom I had once taught who knows less than me.

Consider the consequences of your fear in paints, catch the much more terrible consequences of not-doing, place them in the future. How to scare what can happen if you do not start to act. Maybe even a little angry with the fear that was in the beginning. Perhaps you embrace the excitement: "Was not was! I can!".

And then return the energy, all the energy that you pulled out of the momentary fear.

Do not miss a moment - go for it!

And all will turn out.