Why do we "drill" brain husband / wife / children
I was traveling yesterday on very unfamiliar road. And inadvertently stood before the traffic lights on the strip, from which you can go just to the right.
Few cars, but for me there is a car that is just right. I want to miss it, of course.
Carefully, slowly, blinking left turn signals, food forward, waiting progala between machines, to rebuild in a row. Is clearly not in the way.
Rebuilding do before the traffic police car. Well, I broke, I realize, is ready to respond. But reorganize still decide, because how else can create an emergency situation.
At this point, the police car is heard over the loudspeaker: "Girl, right lane - only to move to the right." At the same time the driver of the car clearly gibddeshnoy squeeze the gas pedal :)))
I pressed the emergency gang, blinked a couple of times as a sign of apology and acknowledgment of his guilt. Well, and I was ready for his signal to park the car and collect owed me a receipt for payment of the fine.
But no. No more action is followed by the guardians of the law.
I'm at a loss.
I imagine a girl who just recently behind the wheel, and even with two loud fidgets back ... and with a less strong nerves than mine.
How she would have reacted?
Shock. Stupor. Inability to clearly think. For fear and shame m. P. Result - clearly an emergency situation.
Well, OK. Stop and punish, to teach it - the normal mechanism. Or simply hold a conversation in quiet circumstances already.
And this is what happened? Power show? Its debt or instructions supposedly perform?
A head able to think? Why here such comments without consequences in the process? When there is a danger potential.
I can not understand...
Although the brain immediately threw the situation of discharge, I and the children, I and my husband - when I climb in the heat of the action with comments and parting words. When this does not work, I do not stop, do not take over any part of the responsibility ... fuuu, right?
This happens when I am annoyed (angry, fearful, anxious, panic) because of the fact that not everything is going according to my plan or not my ideas of life.
Or when I internally (if it really fair to tell myself) wants to raise its profile. It is clear that it is in such situations at the expense of another.
In the end, I get some very perverse feeling mighty, ... everyone knows how to rise above the feeling of others.
That's just keep it very short. And always comes mixed with fear, panic or anxiety, because of which occurred. It's not tasty. Well, zero results. If on the case. The process does not change, because already running. The danger is not only minimized, but also increase significantly. It turns out that I was just distracted, sometimes frightening, annoying.
But everything that happens in such situations - I'm trying to throw their own unpleasant feelings on the other. Throw or cover up other feelings.
- I'm worried, because she is not sure that will be able to cope with the consequences.
- I'm mad at you because you are a fool and did everything wrong.
- I'm afraid to trust the people close to me, and even the world itself.
- It's just you're so that you no dog confidence.
- I'm not sure that is a good, clever, skilful, it is worth.
- Look, your hands do not grow out, and I - look, what an.
Change the story can only be monitored, understanding why I'm really doing it - and what do I need to actually. And further down the small steps stomp back to where I am able to give yourself the required - ask a friend or making itself, it does not matter.