That allowed the beloved?

What is allowed to Jupiter is not allowed to a bull.

/ Winged Latin expression, the meaning of which is that if something is allowed to a person or group of people, it does not necessarily allow all others.

to be loved (favorite), as it is?

How to be someone's favorite?

What does it mean?

What does this change in my existence, that someone loves me, wants to make plans to be with me and live with me? How does it change myself and the one who loves me?

The cult of love relationships as if a priori determines that to be loved in itself is good and should be doing me and my partner happy. Be the woman he loved and beloved public importance personally valuable. And it's true that!

Be claimed for the Other as an object of love, care, admiration - a very important our need. Need, brings us back to the bosom of the mother comfortable, to where we feel the bliss and peace, security, and their absolute values. After leaving the womb, parting with a cozy womb, during the life we ​​live and the joy of its separateness and freedom, and the eternal need to search for the lost paradise. And we find him. From time to time, in the same, in other ways, then more, then less. And this is the eternal life of the engine. In the quest for love.

With all that in real life, a lot of suffering from unrequited love, many couples failed and broken marriages, however, love the world a lot. She was always enough in the world. And each of us is brought to be in a time loved and welcome.

And love has happened. Relations were established. "We love each other" - a welcome feeling of happiness. Anyone who experienced the reciprocity of love, knows that neither the incomparable feeling of joyous peace, quench the thirst of union with others. In any happiness has its price. What is the price "to be loved?".

  • Is it so easy?
  • If it's easy, then why are so many partings and suffering?
  • Why is a huge number of loving couples break up?
  • Why did we happen to be moving away from the one who loves us?

Being alone and being in a relationship is definitely not the same thing. I - one, and all of my time is mine. I can choose what to do, how to act without regard to others. I - free ... So we denote their status - "free". not even thinking at times that the status has deep sense. Free - is not burdened with obligations, not associated with someone common life.

Once the relationship occurred, there was love, everything changes. It is not so easy, is not free to be. There is one other, whom I love, and that makes me responsible to him, compelled to relate my time, my plans with him, loving and wanting me.

And along with the happiness of love, with dizziness of unity with others in my life one way or another include restrictions obligations.

And then the question arises:

  • as I am free in the choice of restrictions arising from the relationship with the person I love?
  • Do I have to give up the right to be loved by something that is important and necessary to me personally?

Here I am reminded of the history of such relations.

He tells the woman:

"We have 16 years of marriage. First there was a very passionate love, a lot of romance. Much done together, have two children. Already passion subsided, and the husband in my eyes is not that character, and I'm not satisfied many. And, nevertheless, I love him, of course, love, I want to live with him. But I never thought that this could happen ... It has turned all our lives. I saw that he was in correspondence with another woman. I read and understand, that he had never seen her in real life. But calm down, I can not. How could he? This is a betrayal. This for me is treason. " Another woman can not accept that her husband watches porn movies. He considers it an insult to her as a wife. He believes that it does not suit him as a woman.

In the third example, the young girl said that a guy with whom they are about six months into the relationship, "he said he wanted to take a break." Man words caused the girl's indignation. How is that to say? She did say, "he said!" As well tell me, because I love him so much?

When we love, we actually often and say, "I love you so much!" - expressing this "so" feature and uniqueness of our senses. I love like no other you will not like. I love like no one has ever loved.

But we can only know about their feelings, their desires. Where did we get the idea "that nobody else can love him as I love I?".

From what we have decided that we have a right to exclusivity of our love?

In my opinion, women are more likely than men to be erected in the cult of feelings, sometimes simply by requiring men unrealistic conditions.

As one man after breaking up with the woman: "She liked me ... But it was a little too much."

A relationship in which there is no gap for doubt, there is no other option, and "you have to do so-and-so, just because you love me" - definitely doomed. In these respects, there is no air to live and there is no diversity of relations. Desperately loving occupies all the space and does not breathe his partner.

Such a relationship in the long run are two possibilities:

  1. Partners accept (most default) rule that they live in a single organism, merge and become almost Siamese twins.
  2. One or both of the partners are beginning to find breath of fresh air wherever that may be. On the Internet, on a business trip, anywhere, but not in the family. Because it does not remain in the family of the fresh air. No right to it, to "take a break", "watch what you want," "express sympathy to an individual."

The first option is good for those who do not know what to do with their own, human being given to him, freedom. Price will be a favorite here for complete abandonment of oneself.

In the second version, "the price of love" will be endless guilt for those who love to "infidelity". Guilt, which "loving saint" is likely to be successfully manipulated.

What is allowed to a loved one? Who defines it? He? Or someone who loves?

While in search of love, perhaps, it would be important to think not only about the happiness that we want to obtain, but also that, from what we have to give. What are we willing to pay for the right to be loved.