Fear is a spinster, or Where did homophobia?

Marry - Easy!

You need the ability to build relationships, and a woman is easy to make.

Psychologists often see unmarried of Girl, and they do not understand the emotions themselves or others. And if you do not understand emotions, there is no relationship of mutual cooperation, vzaimodavaniya.

Unmarried often do not go beyond functional relations. Or just friends. Or sex. Or working a formal relationship. Or "I - a housewife. I do not want to be a housewife. I want a man to do all the housework, as I was resting. " They do not see the emotional intimacy can not be with a man create a loving relationship. Do not feel emotional experiences.

Men are afraid of being gay, respectively.

Fears be gay and marry linked with childhood and the emergence of identity, on the other hand, the history of the beloved object.

What do the terms "identity", and "favorite object"?

Identity - is the question "Who am I? Man or woman".

The object of love - this is the one I love.

In terms of baby's favorite object Two: Mom and Dad. Mmladenets when born, psychologically it passes through three stages of mental development of the identity and image of the beloved object.

The first stage is called the "Monad".

Monad in Greek means "only."


Monad - according to the Pythagoreans, meaning "god" or "first creature", "one" or "one as an indivisible". Later - Disambiguation in various philosophies of modern times and modern times, in psychology and esoteric.

Stage of Monad - a holistic and indivisible I "child-mother." When the baby inside the mother, it is a physical monad. This one, the baby and mother. He was inside my mother during pregnancy, after birth all the psychological and physiological problems are solved mom. Mother indivisible part of the psyche. A baby does not understand the "I". His mother and I - one. Infants and the male and female in the stage of monads - women. "I" is equal to mother. And the most terrible secret of every man, to that it once was a girl.

To be precise, up to 2-3 years before the crisis of sex-role identity. This is important, if we come back to the question of why girls are not afraid to get married, and the men are afraid to be gay.

On stage two monads psychological components: love and identity.

The first - an identity.

Who himself feels the baby boy or a girl?

Answer: It feels a girl, because he "knows" - he mother, he is a woman by definition.

The second - love.

Who loves baby?

He loves a woman. Baby loves mom. It is the object of love. Mother seeks love baby. Mother directed, according to Freud, the libidinal energy. In a simple way - he loves him who is the most interesting? What is the most interesting man in the world? Mama.

But in 3 years a revolution. Men, boys need to be rotated 180 degrees identity. That is, they should make every effort to start killing a woman. "I am not a woman. I am a man. I can not act like a woman. Woman crying. I can not cry. All".

This company does: "Men do not cry. The boys are fighting. You get hit in the nose - you go and you hit him on the nose. " Support active, enterprising, aggressive traits boy. And the child begins to feel like a boy and behave like a boy.

But in order for him to stop being a girl. Because as long as he was an infant, he was a girl.

The second point - the object of love. Who loves baby. The boy has a love object is stored. He loves his mother. Mom's favorite object. He loves her and she loves him. Everything is fine. Someone to love the boy next? Continue to love girls. That is, it is a mother carries the object on the other girls. This is a normal stage of mental development.

What happens to a girl of 3 years? With the girl happens the same process of identity formation. In psychology it is called the crisis 3 years in psychoanalysis - Oedipus period.

It is important to understand that the girl's gender identity does not change. It is refined and differentiated. As she was a girl in a merger with his mother, in the monad with his mother, the one, two, three, while she was a baby - because she is a girl. But it needs to be: "If you're a girl, you must be like a mother. You have to do as a mother does. Think like a mother. " Social demands - it's about the little things, it's about polishing. The most important thing - you are a girl or a girl, and it takes place at the turn 3 years old.

That is, she is a girl. She identified with her mother.

In boys, the task to change one floor to another. Cease to be in a merger with mom and dad begin to identify with. He's a boy. He should behave like a man. This pattern of behavior of the pope.

But the main direction of love and desire boy remains the same - it's mom.

But the girls is rotated 180 degrees in the direction of the object of love, a love object.

Up to three years old girl loved my mother as a boy, all her love was imprisoned in the mother, all this desire to drink warm breast milk in the mother. In 2-3 years, the girl is necessary to make turn his love of 180 degrees and start loving dad. Then to transfer the love to the Pope at the men. Girls need to change the object of love. Summary

Going back to our question: why girls are not afraid to get married?

Here's the thing. This was the fear that girls talk (social status or anything else) in fact is a deep psychological fear of the child, this little girl. When she loses the love of her mother and love must move the attachment to the pope. If every boy in the trauma of identity (I am a man or a man), that is about every girl love this trauma: a love you dad or not love. Do you love or not love the Pope.

And this is expressed in a manic obsessive desire of girls to marry. Behind it is not status, not wanting to have children, how tells us consciousness and fear of recurrence of the injury loss of the love object.