Caution! Powerful emotions!
I have long been using this term in its work, and I believe this habit important part of human health, not only mental but also physical.
Emotional health (by Winch) - is a conscious attitude to their emotions and forming habits that contribute to the maintenance of mental health on a daily basis.
What is a conscious attitude? Consciously - this means:
- Allow yourself to feel and express their emotions, it is desirable to learn to do it in the form of eco-friendly to others!
- Realize the true, authentic emotion. There are only four: fear, anger, joy, sadness.
- Be aware to whom this emotion is directed, and its cause.
What are the benefits?
When we allow ourselves to be less than ideal, and experience emotions, the mind is not necessary to camouflage emotions and organize neurotic behavior, to experience true emotions. For example, from the neurotic:
- to create a scandal in the family to vent anger at the chief;
- to get drunk to be happy or popechalitsya;
- to be late for work, to survive the loss of fear.
When we realize we are angry at someone actually (at her husband, and not on the child), there is a chance to understand the causes and change the behavior with the best result
What happens when we suppress our emotions?
Suppressed emotions remain in the body in the form of clips, tension zones, which will eventually develop into the disease. As I already wrote, emotional health - it's good, helpful, efficient. But the question arises - how to do it? How to get rid of the emotions?
First, let's see, where are the emotions?
Emotions - a response to mental satisfaction or dissatisfaction with our needs.
- needs are met - positive emotions (joy),
- are not met - negative emotions (fear, anger, sadness).
Do emotions have functions:
- fear - helps us to prevent the threat from the future,
- anger - to eliminate the threat now,
- sadness - to release the past,
- pleasure - renewable energy.
This is the hygienic function of emotions!
Briefly about the needs that trigger emotions
Maslow's pyramid of needs for a long time came up. After examining many sources over 20 years of teaching psychology, until I met nothing more logical and understandable, so I quote Maslow in his own interpretation.
- physiological needs (food, sleep, sex).
- the need for security (security, protection).
- The need to be a member of the team, group, families (attention and approval).
- The need to prove to others that I do not live in vain (self-actualization, place in something, be the best).
- The need to prove to myself that I did not live in vain (understand the mission, to atone for sins).
Now we connect (unmet need = negative emotion) mom with a small child turns the whole day, forgetting to eat. When the husband comes home from work and asked to eat in the subconscious emerges the idea that I, too, need to eat, but once again - you first need to feed her husband. Naturally, there is a wrath as a signal that is not satisfied with the physiological need and must meet the NOW.
Woman understands emotion as insult on the man (though this anger on the child and themselves). And instead of saying, "Oh, today I myself still do not eat, come together" - it sounds: "You only have to sleep .. yes."
The husband says, "You spent the whole day at home, what prevents to eat?". And he's right, but for some reason this offends even more !!! Now wrath on the man (because of the unmet need for care-safety) camouflaged in sad and tears about how life is a failure. This is another reason that women have the ban - you can not be angry, and you can cry.
So it is replaced by anger at the sadness and the emotion is not released from the body and goes to the body and then to the disease. Question - Why is it?
Because a child in our head is worth a bunch of restrictions that the parents gave us of the good intentions for safety reasons (do not pour out anger at all - you can head on to obtain), or that the child was easier to control (you can not be angry with loved ones - if you are bad, punish we exclude from the family). We grew up, and bans too grown up "in general can not express anger - it is not safe!". Violation of restrictions causes fear, so we hide the true emotions and show socially acceptable (it is impossible to be angry, and sad as possible).
- Allow Statement to express emotions (permit - means to take responsibility for the consequences, as if afraid not).
- Stop at the time of emotions, opt out of whom responded. Can you say it out loud: "I'm sorry, I need to think." Helps with the count, breathing and so on. E.
- Realize what need was infringed (what's missing).
- Express your feelings words! This is the most important - in the words of emotion go! Then it will become a habit and will be held on the machine !!!
Now technique - enter it into the daily practice, you can practice on past situations, it is better in writing!
- describes the situation in the third person (When I criticize the close).
- describes his feelings (I'm very angry and upset).
- describes the reason for feelings (because I myself know about their shortcomings).
- describes the request (from you I really want to support).