How to get out of the script abandoned and unnecessary in a relationship with a man
You already know that our choice run by feelings.
If you grew up without a father, it was a difficult divorce from their parents - something inside you have feelings associated with the absence of the father in your life. You, as a child can feel abandoned, unwanted and feel despair. And through the prism of these feelings, you choose your own man.
That is, in a relationship that you do not - which is self-confident, mature and feminine, with a successful career. In a relationship you live sense of self-child.
There might be a helpful man, but inside you have the expectation that he would give up. And as if there is confirmation of the expectations of living in your little girl - the separation occurs. Because the expectation of betrayal, the gap creates a strong tension in the relationship.
You can advance to defend themselves, to make claims and accusations, deep inside you sent to parents - and in the projection of the man who next to you. And so it is unconscious destruction of relationships, because the proximity coupled with distrust and pain, fear to survive the sudden parting, as it was in childhood.
The second option - next to your partner emotionally cold. Those with whom there is a convergence of impossible - and once again it's about the experiences associated with an absent father.
Also, my mother could be felt by you as missing. Mom could a lot of hard work, you saw her in the evening, and practically did not communicate. And to experience loneliness joined by a sense of guilt - in fact it is sometimes said that the obligation to work so hard to provide for you. And as if because of you she had no personal life has developed. This confusion could have occurred in the perception of a small child. And you may unknowingly give up love.
So, inside there is the image of his father, which submerged the painful feelings associated with a feeling of abandonment and separation. As well as the image of the mother, which are shipped loneliness. You are like a daughter unconsciously identify with the mother. And unconsciously there is a setting to be like my mother. With all these feelings have to work with a psychologist to change the way of significant figures within you - and, therefore, the feelings they have changed.
Real People we can not change, but we can change their images inside the, which accompany us through life. And that we rely on, we base our self-esteem - looking at yourself through the eyes of their parents. So let it be loving look inside you.
Which will help you to choose the one who will look at you - as the best in the world!
I am sure that you can be happy in a relationship with a man. Because it is your life. But we need to get rid of the feelings and projections that make you play the script "abandoned and unnecessary" in dealing with people. You can feel that way. Your little girl needs attention, understanding and space to otgorevat that she did not have a reliable and stable Pope, the host mother. But you have an adult can be a faithful, decent and loving you with all my heart man.
requires a long personal analysis for healing "proximity injuries." Because only in a stable, long-term relationships happen truly profound changes. Do not delay your life then, all investments in the work of a psychologist will be repaid improving your life and gaining a happy family, which perhaps you did not even dream of.