True love or a love relationship?
Love - a great feeling! Why is it brings a lot of so much suffering? Why are people still alive in the proverb "Love is evil, love and a goat?" And not just alive, often reflects the reality of the relationship ?! Why so much love is unhappy? And whether true love can be miserable ?!
In fact, mad, unrequited love, which brings pain and suffering, even in the beginning of a relationship - it is not love. It is addiction. This condition has nothing to do with the reassuring feeling of true love.
The love relationship - it is dependent on the drug. This "hunger", "thirst" to "favorite". However, it is still a question, whether the favorite ...
This feeling may be mutual, but maybe not. One unique in that loveth need an object of love, and to live without the object of their love impossible. It breaks down, life begins to revolve around this feeling, this love, this object. Everything else is meaningless. Just as a drug addict: dose - the meaning of life. It's like a hunger. It is impossible not to feel, and it is impossible not to think about it. And it is impossible to satisfy once and for all.
This state may be delayed for years. Call these relationships codependent. The love relationship becomes a disease that brings joy and happiness, but brings pain and suffering.
Without the "favorite" breaks "without bad, not comfortable, all thoughts of a meeting about it ..." Together - too often unbearable
• "He's in a bad mood - I puzzled what to blame."
• "He did not answer - I am suffering that fell out of love that he had a mistress."
• "If he's in a good mood - I'm jealous, with who he is and what it is so much fun." • "No calls, writes, does not come - so I do not need it"
Unfortunately, this kind of attitude is not uncommon. And in a society decided to take a love relationship for a true sense. "Beats - means love!" "I suffer - it is love!"
The most common application of those who are in a love relationship: "I just need it!", "Do not you understand! We are soul mates! We feel each other's skin! "
And another thing: I'm ready to take care of, to endure, to be comfortable, to do everything for him - this is happiness! I do not love anyone so!
In the trap of love addiction and get women and men. And, often enough.
Reasons love addiction
More often than not in a love relationship fall into those with low self-esteem. Parents are much criticized, did not give love and support. Sometimes a love relationship - is a consequence of ill-education. Sometimes - overprotection and strong control.
One thing is clear: these people have no love for yourself, respect yourself, a sense of self-worth.
If the basis of relations in parent family "beats - a loving", "love - this suffering," "jealous - it means love," it is something that predisposes to love addiction.
In our childhood is laid, that suffering - the basis of love. That love need to "suffer". And relationships are only meaningful when they have a tear, negative experiences zasluzhivanie love.
In fact, true love - is joyous, bright, positive sense of. It fills. Love - is interested in the development of freedom. I love you, but you're free. And to be with our conscious is a voluntary choice. True love - is giving and receiving pleasure. It is not suffering! And true love does not occur less dependent. Just often we pass by, because inside the landmark, which is incorporated requires suffering. Joy, clarity, freedom in relationships is often regarded as a bore!
How to distinguish true love from love addiction?
1. We are well and together and separately. (In love addiction: first, we are well together, but poorly separately and then together bad and bad separately.)
2. Love strengthens and develops each of the partners. Man becomes more successful, safer, more confident. (Love relationship brings fear, insecurity, jealousy, doubt, aggression, envy)
3. Love leaves a feeling of freedom. (Love relationship engenders dependence on the partner, "without you I can not!")
4. Love - a balance "to take - to give." It is everyone's responsibility for what is happening in the relationship. (In love addiction is always a desire to shift responsibility, please. There is a major subordinate. One takes and remains a "must")
5. Love - carries the empowering of each leads to success, develops. (Love does not tolerate dependence development. Dependence destructive. Sooner or later, it will be necessary to take revenge on each other)
If your relationship - is suffering, consider whether you are in a love relationship. Maybe it's time to help yourself get out of painful relationship and help yourself to create a relationship based on true love?