Maturity - this is when you can safely wear a hat in the -15, even if the mother told you to do it.
/ The Internet
contentious issues are often raised in psychology:
- How to raise a child is better to wait for something or not you need him?
- How not want and do not demand from him that he learned, was an obedient, considerate and polite?
- How to find the line between tough expectations and cold indifference?
I was approached by the family, which owns the dental business, with a request to influence their 17-year-old son, who is finishing high school and does not want to learn from the dentist and going to (gasp!) In theater. When I asked: "Why not?", Parents are even confused: "Is it a profession? The child must be saved. "
Of course, they want prosperity for their son. They want him to do what he likes, and that it is well paid. Since sufficient collateral family, I recommend still allow his son to try his hand in order not to regret the rest of his life, blaming the parents. And at the dentist at least 25 years old can be taught to do.
I remember witnessing family drama familiar, where there was a protracted conflict between father and son. Son wanted to play football, and his father forced to go to the fight. "What good is this stupid running around? - outraged father - I do not want you to have one of the evenings lathered neck. You should be able to defend themselves ". I was a little relieved the atmosphere by telling anecdote: - For me to fight anyway, fights with me one person or a hundred!
- How so?
- Yes, I run fast.
And everything seems to be a father makes the best of intentions. Well, what about the child's wishes? It is clear that the pope, scarred fight in his youth, wants to enclose your child from such classes but unloved business negatively affect the health of the child. If you recall, we note how we tense up when we are forced to do things that we do not want.
It is clear that there are things that a child is required to do, even if you do not like - to wash and so on. But these "do not want to, but it is necessary" are enough in the life of the little man, so why should it even load your expectations?
Causing the child to implement our expectations and hopes, we condemn their favorite and native to the inner loneliness and protest. And then we wonder why it does not work worthwhile?
In the life of many examples where the parents time to "hear" their children's talent and helped the child to open up and become an outstanding person, however, the reverse is also quite an example, I hear them at receptions in a day.
Someone will say: "The younger generation has, against the will relax its efforts, cultivating a calm and patience." And I agree. But what prevents all cultivate where the child interested? When a person comes into this world, whether we like it or not, he is faced with at least two kinds of expectations.
- The expectations of society, who knows very well how to be a good citizen.
- Parental expectations. And the most simple of them start with "When did you begin to have ...".
From the point of view of psychology good parent must still conscious approach to the child's choice of life. Study and careers should be built not only in the interests of the child, which can naturally vary with age and can not serve as an objective criterion for choosing his fate - but it is important to start from the characteristics of the nature of the baby or, as psychologists say, to take into account the child's psycho. That is the predisposition of the nervous system and psyche to the different types of activities.