How to Avoid Divorce

Recently, more and more come to the consultation request with the men: "The wife filed for divorce. How to save the family? ".

The reasons for this situation may be different - the unwillingness to live together, there is another man's wife. It's hard to keep what is already falling apart, but it is better to do something than to do nothing.

At the moment, the relationship can look like this - my wife has no desire to engage in dialogue, she wants a divorce, but leave right away is not always ready.

A man is in a difficult situation - he wants to keep the family does not understand at the same time, what a woman wants, and very difficult to understand yourself and the situation. Yet it covers the fear that he will be left without a family, home, children, and frightening the thought that someone else's uncle will bring up his children. The mere understanding of this introduces stress. Because in the end most of the time a man is alone, and he is willing to go to great lengths, including forgive infidelity of his wife, just to keep things as they are.

The theme of this large and complex, yet would like to propose some steps to try to cope with stress at the moment to get rid of stress, and then try to make an intelligent decision.

Step 1. Realize that caused the rift in the family. Look at the situation from the outside and be honest in the first place for ourselves. Often comes the understanding that not paying enough attention to the family and his wife, did not give her support when it was needed. The problem of the blue can not occur, then all of this were the prerequisites. Step 2. Think, what was your personal contribution to the discord in the family. In the current situation can not be to blame is one - is always to blame for both 50/50. Think about what did and what did not you personally for this?

Step 3. Think about what you can personally and are willing to do to change the situation - not easy to do, and that is also your partner loved it and responded. Do not forget that the responsibility for what happens in your life is to you.

But remember that now begin to overwhelm his wife with flowers and gifts is not the most opportune time.

Step 4. Although, maybe with him and it would be necessary to begin. It is necessary to look into the eyes of your fear, do not run away from it and look.

What to do?

  • Ask yourself again and again:

    "What scares me the most?. "

  • Get the answer and ask again:

    "What is in it for me the worst thing? ".

During the consultation the client is easier when it is a psychologist, asks questions, analyzing the answers, but still try it and you ask yourself this question. Better even start writing the answers, so it's easier to focus on the thoughts, to see your own paper.

Step 5. At this stage, there is a need to understand what you want for yourself as you look for a happy family. What are you willing to do for this? Do not answer, "willing to do anything!". All - it's nothing. What exactly? Step 6. And one more important step. Try to see everything through the eyes of your wife. Live in her image and her eyes look at you, the family, the situation.

At this point, you are more aware of, and will understand why his wife to do so.

Maybe in your family life, a period when it is necessary to bring a result and to do work on the bugs. It's time to stop and think, do not panic "shake" his wife and demand from it some important words, and think to slow down.

Suitable for you a plan of action, do not you think?

And if most still difficult to handle - a phone call is always happy to help.