Why of lovers, and what if in the heat of an argument, you said too much
Waking up the next morning after the scandal with a loved one, you suddenly realize that he uttered a lot of nasty things about him, his parents and friends.
In fact it is not so bad.
Recently, the site psychologists conducted round tables on the themes - which can never be a woman talking man and a man should never talk to the woman. I deliberately did not begin on this issue is nothing to write, because I believe that:
First, even if a person learns the list of banned phrases and will not just tell them, then it is easy to find others in their place, because the desire to hurt not gone anywhere;
secondly, the advice that we can not say more for adults not relevant in relation to their peers, and parents towards their children, because they have protective mechanisms still poorly formed;
and finally, in the third, not so bad that the person made a mistake and said too much, how scary is that he does, or rather, does not, to correct his mistake and correct the problem.
How to be then, when you realize that not told what they had in mind, or simply went too far - and will go to this article.
What first of all it is worth remembering in these situations?
I believe that, for example, about pride uyazvlonnom person you said hurt on emotion words. If your favorite proud, in order to be able to talk to you, he needs time. Give it to him! It is not necessary immediately after the quarrel run to the man, to beg him for forgiveness and take the blame for your quarrel. Well, perhaps you will say, this is so obvious, however, women's most common mistake is when an argument is this.
Asks gentle female soul rather put up, but at this point it is worth remembering about the difference between male and female psychology. Girls in many live under the banner of Leopold: "Guys, let's live together!" !.
While the boys closer military battles with the use of all types of weapons available :)
Let him win alone to:
- to assess their own mistakes that he made (remember that the responsibility in any relationship is divided into 50 to 50);
- to you to justify finding that in fact was behind your words and understand what you want to convey to him, though not in the most efficient manner;
- have time for you to get bored;
- in the end, just calm down.
After that you can and chat with her boyfriend start. Only the quiet! Draw conclusions from the past and keep patience and confidence. Arm yourself with the slogan "slow and steady wins - on going" instead of trying to just take the "bull by the horns" and in the whole deal once and for all.
If you manage to establish interaction with him at least on some level, this is already a great deal. Because, having contact with a loved one, you get a chance to help him open up and start a dialogue with you about the fact that he cares and that he's going on inside. Believe me, if a person you genuinely divided - it means a lot! I will not write about the details that you need to apologize for the words that you have uttered, and then regret it for them and find them unnecessary. Better as the outcome, I will repeat what was mentioned above, but I consider particularly important.
You can prevent yourself saying these phrases, but in their place will be others. It is worth remembering that want to hurt the other person to want to hurt the sensitive and pain mental or physical can only wounded himself deeply unhappy man.
Therefore, it is important to answer the question:
why did I do all that talked a (or uttered), what I needed to do other patients (though not consciously)?
And then perhaps you will come to understand that inner peace you are missing and you need this to do something. However, it is another story, which you can read in my other articles, such as "How to work on yourself to become fortunate in love." And on this issue I have, perhaps, everything.