All of us, probably, from the school known phenomenon of boycott - and what a negative impact it makes on man, have been subjected to this punishment.
With the permission of the client to tell the case, which is very pronounced traumatic consequences of the boycott.
At the reception brought the girl of twenty-one. In appearance she was fifteen - sixteen. The reason was the lack of visits to a psychologist at this girl for the past seven years, any joy in life. It does not get carried away, she did not like and nowhere sought.
She has seven years not only did not laugh, but even frankly not smiling. It was like a fairy tale of the main character "Sold Laughter", and together with the lack of positive emotions from her absent and negative. All her images in my head were exclusively in shades of gray. And in all his memories and visions of the future she saw herself only as if from the outside.
Previously, she was treated by a psychiatrist about dissociative identity disorder. This is when a person is emotionally cut off from his memories, he remembers them, but not emotionally involved. He was not emotionally involved, not only in his memories but also in the whole of life.
As you know, emotions - is the engine of life, without which life loses its paint, and sometimes meaningless. No emotions - makes no sense. The psychiatrist suggested to involve a psychologist, so she was at my reception. This phenomenon (dissociation) is the protective function of the mental and physical health. It usually happens when a great danger to human life or in case of irretrievable loss when emotional pain is so great that the mind turns off the emotional reaction.
Maybe someone will be able to remember such a situation in my life. And the emotional state of stupor at the moment. A person begins to feel that he is watching as a side, and what is happening around him personally not concerned.
Dissociation saves a person, it is as a preservative in electricity - time and off overvoltage all the emotions, and the man for some time ceases to feel anything. He ceases to feel not only the psycho-emotional pain, but often even the physical.
But it so happens that a dangerous situation for a long time has passed, and the man is in this state and can not receive positive emotions, can not enjoy life. Then talk about the dissociative disorder.
Neurolinguistic programming, this mechanism of protection of the human psyche has adopted and uses it deliberately to get rid of negative or unwanted emotions. In NLP this is called dissociation - is when we see ourselves as if from the outside (as opposed to the Association - when we, for example, our memories or dreams of seeing as though their eyes). In the first case we see, but do not feel the emotions, in the second case, we feel the same emotions that have experienced being in a place that we have presented. Based on the foregoing, we make a simple, but in the meantime is very important for the life of the output:
- Unpleasant memories or visions of the future have to think dissociated to remove the excess excitement, anxiety and fear.
- But pleasant memories associated to think to be filled with calmness, confidence, enthusiasm and joy.
The girl in question is an article appeared in the state seven years ago as a result of the boycott, which told her the whole class. And this psychological pressure led her to renounce his emotions, which brought her great pain. The situation is long gone, but the state remained.
What she needed, so it learns to accept associated my current experience. What a success it did.
What is particularly interesting to me about this story is the fact that the phenomenon of boycott, may cause a person to such an unbearable pain. When thinking rationally, what's wrong with that? Well, do not talk to you, do not communicate, because they do not beat, not bullied, do not tease. No vital needs are not endangered.
Meanwhile, the person experiences a powerful stress. And the answer to this question is laid down in our nature, in the nature of man as a social being.
Hundreds of thousands of years our ancestors roamed the wild in small tribes, in an extremely adverse and difficult conditions for survival. Alone, it was simply impossible to survive. It was difficult to provide food to one and even more difficult not to be eaten by wild beasts or neighbors. In those days, the expulsion from the tribe meant certain death, and sometimes quite painful, from wounds and hunger.
- And those who did not pay attention to the needs of the entire nation, and not afraid of being expelled them him that, of course, and did not leave his continuation in the descendants.
- But those who are responsive to the displeasure of his surroundings, they were able to live and leave their offspring, and the need for such behavior was transmitted to future generations, both through cultural practices and genes.
Gone are the days, and we are no longer in danger of being eaten or die of hunger, but our unconscious still responds to the strongest stress on the failure to communicate with a small group of us that we currently consider their own.