Need advice: girls talk about the problems in relations

Each time a relationship with a guy conflagration, I write my best friend Asa, and together we will solve the problem, looking for an explanation of my neurosis Dostoevsky and Kafka. In the end, I do not care to understand everything myself, but to listen to advice from someone who understands me, is important. Councilor I have one, but my advice for people going 5 per month consistently. I decided to find out what kind of problems in relationships often faced by other women, and what advice they would give to those who need them.

Need advice: girls talk about the problems in relations

If you leave the first difficult, even when you're unhappy

Julia, 29

Need advice: girls talk about the problems in relations

We with my boyfriend could not leave for 5 years, but together we were both unhappy. Both he and I held on to "die" attitude - each for their own reasons, one of which is very simple: we do not know how to leave each other alone.

I doubt that leave - is the right decision, fear of losing a loved one and to be alone. He used to live together, and separation means that you need to look for a new partner. Not wanting to change something in your life, we just turned a blind eye to red flags.

I think that people do not leave, not because they lack willpower, because the relationship is not only the negative aspects. The memory of the happy days does not break the thread that binds strongly to you. It seems that things can still change. The most important thing to do in this situation - is to understand how each one of you as a valuable partner. Do you really want to be together or something that holds you - it's just a habit?

If there is no common interests

Angelica, 38,

I believe that common interests - a common misconception that causes many couples break up. Do not confuse mutual interest and understanding with the general interest. Of course, when your partner likes the same movies, books and albums that you are - it's amazing, but, in the end, this is not something that causes you to be together.

Need advice: girls talk about the problems in relations

I work as a teacher of foreign literature at the university, and I can talk for hours about books, and my husband - a mechanic and the last book he read at school before writing. I can not discuss with him the favorite works, and he will not talk to me about cars, because I they are not interested. Despite this, we have a desire to spend time together: we go to the pool, we go Watching TV shows and always listen to each other, if you want to speak.

Respect for the aspirations of each other, mutual support and genuine interest in the life of his partner - the key points that unite different people. Each person is different and this is the main reason why we are drawn to each other.

This stereotype can be appropriate only if what you like partner makes you disgusted or protest that blocks in you all the positive emotions. People should not be similar or divide everything in two, otherwise you can go crazy.

If we talk about money embarrassed

Svetlana, 30 years,

Need advice: girls talk about the problems in relations

It is very difficult to talk about money with your partner, every time I feel embarrassed, but I understand that this conversation is necessary, because we live together. My parents taught me to count your budget so that was enough for the necessary and personal expenses, but my boyfriend was used nothing does not deny, and did not think that if he spent all the money on another pleasant shopping like a gadget or a collector's edition of the comic book, then we will have to live on my salary. Everyone has the right to spend the money as it sees fit, but in order to improve life together faster and better, it is better to discuss the overall budget and determine who is responsible for what.

If you do not, as a partner refers to the general spending, it is important to start on time this awkward conversation until he started a quarrel and calculations, but who spent and who owes whom.

The main thing in this case - a clear idea of ​​the purpose of the conversation and not to be unfounded: whether or not to save money on something common or each dispose of them as you can, who earn more and in this case it is necessary to look at the joint expenses. The desire to improve the financial condition - this is a step on the way to a comfortable existence, and from my own experience I can say that in time spaced points on the i only strengthen the relationship.

If you can not sexually liberated

Ekaterina, 33 years

Need advice: girls talk about the problems in relations

The natural acceptance of their body and beauty - a very important question for me. I feel confident in bed, because I know what happens to me during sex - is a reaction of the body. It is impossible to control all the processes, but they can be learned. By understanding how the body works, it is easier to take the natural side of sex. If during sex, I feel jet orgasm, I am not ashamed, because I have been working on the disclosure of their sexuality and enjoy it more deeply than before, unless it can be unpleasant or "dirty"?

If your partner is afraid of or repels, the problem in it, rather than you. Sex - it's feelings, not logic, so if we abandon the complexes, to deal with it will be much more pleasant.

If you can not say "I love you"

Zhanna, 22 years old

My boyfriend and I got used to the different feel and express feelings. He can not live a day without telling or hearing from me gentle words, but I still keep in yourself and say "I love you" only when I want to say it. We fought a lot because I'm too callous, but I'm not doing this because they do not share his feelings or do not like to talk about it, but because I do not know how better to express their emotions.

Need advice: girls talk about the problems in relations

Her friends say that I was lucky with the guy who was the first declaration of love, but as for me, the fact that the first step - the prerogative of men, it is high time to give up, now that we are fighting for gender equality.

Men can be just as vulnerable and shy on this issue, as well as women.

If you want to say about your love, there is no reason to do this. Feelings - it's just as natural as the physiological processes. You need to accept yourself completely. But if your guy of few words as well as I do, do not take it personally, maybe he likes doing, and not high-sounding phrases.

If your partner does not deserve a second, third and fourth chance

Lada, 26

My father - an alcoholic and suffers from addiction since I turned 15 years old. Mom cried a lot, and I went with my brothers. An example of the relationship my parents gave me the idea that not every partner deserves a second chance.

Family problems and problems in relationships - is not the same thing. I had to accept the fact that my father drank, until the age of 19 I went to study in another city. Prior to that, I just could not leave the family. The relationship is still quite the opposite: you choose itself, with whom you build a life.

Need advice: girls talk about the problems in relations

My mother knew that she should not have to sacrifice their lives for the sake of the partner, but decided to divorce later. The father began to sell things out of the house and beat my little brother. It is this tragic accident caused my mother once and for all put an end to toxic marriage.

I think that to get away from the relationship with a man who, in your opinion, does not deserve another chance - a very hard choice, but the one time making it, you will see everything in a different light. After all, if I pull the burden of other people's problems, no one will be easier, especially if you have children.

If the former wants to be friends

Nina, 24 years

Need advice: girls talk about the problems in relations

My ex-boyfriend was like a native: he knows me well, I trust him, and we are so right for each other. But the desire to not have anything to do with him now, when we parted amicably, I think it's right. I always spend a clear distinction between the guys with whom I will be friends, and those who choose a partner. With friends, I have a special relationship, no dramas and broken hearts, but because they are also sometimes betray. My friends manage to be friends with ex-boyfriend and I do not want it.

If you find it difficult to stay close to ex-boyfriend, do not settle for friendship, no matter how good relations have no associated. The pain of separation will not allow you to move forward, and on such feelings of friendship will not last long.

If you're alone, but you want to be in relationships

Daria, 27 years,

Need advice: girls talk about the problems in relations

I like to occasionally take a break from the relationship, because for me the loneliness - the ability to understand yourself before you start dating someone new. I always remember the movie "Eat Pray Love", where Julia Roberts got confused in their feelings, flowing from one novel to another. But most importantly, what I pay attention - if you do not climb on the walls of grief or curse fate for the fact that she cheated you, then you know a lot about patience. The universe is nothing you should not be, but for the happiness of every girl is very responsible. For me it's a valuable lesson. Loneliness is not to be feared, it is necessary to accept the fact, as part of life. Once you realize this, you will cease to depend on the relationship in principle.