5 principles of equal marriage
Feminist values do not contradict the desire to start a family. The main thing is to find someone who will share your beliefs. Whether you consider yourself an uncompromising fighter for equality or resigned to the idea that feminism in Russia can not be, to approach the relationship as a partnership - the surest way to create a healthy family.
family model is laid at the beginning of their life together. Here are some tips from the experts for those who are important to maintain equality in the relationship.
1. Focus on teamwork
As a family therapist Jenni Skyler notes under the collaboration she understands everything that is needed to manage relationships and family.
You do not need to fall into a specific gender roles. - Skyler said. - For example, in my family I manage our business and all the finances, and my husband is engaged in the purchase of products and cooking.
You and your partner should talk to each of you felt that equally contribute to the relationship. It does not look like a model common in Russian families, when a man just go to work, and women to reconcile a career with household chores and child rearing. For equal marriage, it is important to distribute the household tasks so that each of you will feel comfortable.
2. Challenge traditional gender roles
When it comes to daily activities - cleaning, cooking, paying bills - Sit down with your partner and talk about what is best suited to each of you.
In a healthy relationship among couples have unique ways of expressing their roles that do not always meet the public standards. For example, I hate to sew and just asked the guy to deliver me from this duty.
Moreover, according to sexologist Holly Richmond, you need to challenge gender roles and sex too. A woman does not have to wait for the man will take the initiative in the bedroom.
3. Express your opinion
The feminist married couples should not be afraid to talk about their desires, needs and emotions.
If your boyfriend is behaving short when it comes to feelings, try to find an approach to it. Ask leading questions, share your experiences. Try not to judge a man for his thoughts, otherwise it will cease to trust you.
4. Be honest
Always tell the truth, because it affects your joint decisions, says relationship expert Jane Greer. Frankness is more important than the imaginary being. Try not to dissemble, even if your words can hurt or good evening to end a quarrel risks.
Also, if you want to have an equal relationship, make sure your voice is important for the partner. Of course, you also should not leave it unattended opinion.
5. Find out what each of you wants from the marriage of
Ideally this should be done before the wedding. Discuss your expectations of marriage and the idea of what should be a family.
Because of the imposed social norms or the negative influence of parents people often fall into certain roles, when getting married. To break the stereotypes and live as comfortably you need a conscious effort.
If you hate to cook, talk about it with a guy. Maybe he grew up in a family where Mom loved cooking. He believes that all the girls are, by definition, love and know how to cook. Rather than trying to match his expectations, be yourself and be honest, that the kitchen - not your territory.