6 reasons to be wary when your boyfriend says former
Discuss with your ex-boyfriend awkward, but this conversation will help you better understand each other and build trust. It is foolish to pretend that all the past experience does not matter. However, the way your boyfriend says about the former, may suggest that it drags the old problems in a new relationship. Here are some red flags in a conversation about the ex-partner.
1. Hides the details of separation
Ideally, the conversation about the former should happen once and for all: you share their past experiences have made any conclusions about each other and no longer return to the topic.
Not everyone likes to go into details of past failures. But when a guy takes a direct answer about the cause of separation, perhaps there's a reason that you should know.
If the partner has changed in past relationships, you should hear it from him. Often, those who have made infidelity, repeat this error in the following respects. Honest recognition - the best indication that he regretted his act.
If he betrayed - this is also important, because now the guy can be a problem with confidence, which will affect you.
2. Compare it with you
It does not have to be a statement on the forehead like "but my ex always me a massage after work to do," although this also happens. It can allow subtle hints: "I'm used to that consult with me about everything." In his own mind, we inevitably draw parallels with past experience. But to express it to the partner, and try to instill in him the qualities that you like in the former - at least not respect.
3. He hates his ex
It is important not only that the guy talks about the former, but how he does it. When the guy at the mention past relationships into a rage, and can not resist the multi-storey battle - it's not much better than the nostalgic sighs and regrets about the separation. If something triggers strong emotions, then he is not yet ready to let go of it.
4. nostalgic for the old relations
Too, not literally, but it makes it clear that he had not forgotten how good it was. He can speak with nostalgia not specifically about the former, but in the whole of that period of time when he was with her. This veiled longing for relationship prevent him to assess what is happening between you now.
5. There is still something to do with the former
Sometimes a partner is struggling to keep in touch with his ex or her family on various pretexts. This is a red flag, but it does not necessarily mean that it is hoped to return past relationships.
In such a situation it is especially important revelation. If your boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend's life in some way overlap - you ought to know about it from him. The more open it will be with you, the more confident you will feel yourself. You must also be honest with the guy, if you have doubts about him, and you are straining his relationship with ex-girlfriend. Do not blame him, and do not put ultimatums. It is better to talk about how you feel because of what is happening.
6. blames her parting only
This is a major red flag. He is not talking about his relation to the former, and the ability of Man to be responsible.
Note that if a man talks only about how it hurt and humiliated in the past. What has been left so much resentment, he says that he has not coped with the separation and is not ready for a new relationship.
In addition, it can mean that a person is not able to admit their mistakes and not make conclusions. In this case, you will always be to blame for your problems.
What do you think, is it worth to discuss the past relationship with a partner?