How to set personal boundaries in relationships

If in your life too many people: a mother is constantly climbing tips at work, a friend nazvanivaet at any time of the day, and the guy indicates with whom you communicate with and who is not - you have obvious problems with personal boundaries. It seems that in relations with close no place prohibitions. But private space should be in any area, whether it's family, work or friendship. Heroine understands what personal boundaries and how to install them correctly.

What is personal boundaries

How to set personal boundaries in relationships

To set the border, you have a good understanding of what it is. Here's how he explains psychotherapist Racine Henry:

The boundary - a line of respect. This is a limitation that you impose a certain behavior that is unpleasant or undesirable. It is a way of verbal or non-verbal show how you want to treat you.

When someone says or does something that offends you, or inconvenience, it is necessary to think about establishing boundaries that such behavior does not recur.

Boundaries are important in all types of relationships - romantic, friendship, work, family. Often the surrounding unintentionally upset us. Setting rules of behavior will ultimately help you feel better.

How to set the boundaries of

First denoting them in your head

Before you stick to a man with ultimatums, you must clearly define what you wish for. Click the box that gives you the inconvenience of his behavior and why it happens.

Not always in trespass to blame someone else. We ourselves often give reason to go beyond too confided to a colleague, with whom do not plan to make friends, flirt without any purpose or partner agree on prohibitions.

Decide why you set these boundaries, only then you will be able available and explain it to the person correctly.

Think about how best to say this

How to set personal boundaries in relationships

Ignore the message and avoid meeting - not the best way to hint the person you're angry. It's rude and too ambiguous. Just straight talk will help you to ensure that you respect.

Like all important conversations, borders discussion should take place in person. Although this rule is not applicable to all situations. If you feel that you embarrassed to talk face to face, it is better to take advantage of the message on the Internet. In some cases, it helps to be frank and comprehensive express the idea.

to discuss the border as something that will help to improve relations, not to alienate you.

Be ready to interlocutor reaction

Think in advance how people might react to your limits. If you know that he does not know how to listen - be concise. Poor take criticism - say how you feel, but do not blame him. Does not apply to your words seriously - be honest, even stiff. Most likely, the person did not immediately accept your attempt to set personal boundaries. Explain that you have come to the world, but do not back down from its decision.

Keep the border

How to set personal boundaries in relationships

Identify the border - not the most difficult, important to keep them on in a relationship. A person can nod and agree, but continue to behave as usual. Reiterates its request as long as necessary. In the worst case it is necessary to restrict or stop the communication to show seriousness of purpose. Do not forget why you are important, these boundaries, and put their feelings first.

Saving boundaries depends not only on the person with whom you are talking. You, too, must play by their rules. If you ask the parents not to interfere in your personal life - do not complain mother to their problems with the guy.

Before you start talking about personal boundaries defined, whether you are able to comply with them.

What do you think, should there be personal boundaries in relationships with family and partner?