6 ways to deal with the thoughts that harm your relationship
Even the happiest couples sometimes not sure of his feelings. Toxic thoughts dangerous to relationships no less than treason or sexual incompatibility. Heroine will tell you what to do, if not confident in choosing a partner.
1. Remember what you liked him
Go back to the beginning of your relationship: How do you feel close to him? Why did you choose this guy. Remember the times when you were happy.
Think about what you have found with these relationships, how your life has changed. He is still the same handsome, in whom you fell in love. Just now, your perception clouded by negativity arising between you. Sometimes it is enough to remember the good times, to overcome the bad.
2. Do not think out of the partner's
Do not assume that you know what your man is thinking or what he feels. Often the basis for the toxic thoughts are only assumptions, not facts.
Talk with your partner, tell us about their emotions, ask for clarification. Man is not projected on a negative. If something is not sure, it is always better to ask than to torment himself with guesses and assume the worst.
3. separates the past from the present
When you have negative thoughts, try to recognize not affect whether it is your past relationship. Let go of previous experience. You can not completely erase it from memory, but do not let yourself to compare the present with the former partner, to decide that "all the same", even if you find yourself in a similar situation. Another point, which is important to separate the past from the present: the beginning and the current state of your relationship. When the most romantic and passionate period is over, it is difficult to understand, you are moved to the next phase or just do not feel anything for each other. The difference between the first week and the fifth year of marriage seems huge.
Remember that this is a normal development of relations: perhaps rarely have sex, but it has become more qualitative, because you know each other well. A little bored by not tremble before each meeting, but we are confident in a partner, and you can direct the energy into other areas of life.
It makes no sense to be afraid bytovuhi, it is better to seek advantages in strong coupling constant and enjoy them.
4. Find the arguments on each of the toxic thought
Another way - to stop retreating from these thoughts, because the more forbid, the more they climb in a head.
Give them a way out: write down everything that hinders you to be happy in a relationship. Evaluate how real this or that idea, and bring arguments against it.
Thoughtful worse outcomes, but do not dwell on them. Just Shall toxic idea to its logical conclusion: that the worst will happen to you in the end. After 10 years, you will understand that life does not spend on that person? Well, it's a great experience, and change all is never too late.
5. Do not tell me about your problems in a row all
You protect your relationship, if you dedicate to their doubts only one or two trusted people, not all of your friends. Telling her friends, with some cattle you have to live, you create a gap between your and the worlds.
When you are a man overcome differences, and then forget to think about all that have told each other. But the rest of the people is not easy to return a good attitude to a partner, due to which their beloved and precious because you suffered.
6. Find where to direct their energy
I do not think it is for the depreciation of your emotions, but a large amount of free time often becomes a good breeding ground for destructive thought. If your doubts are not supported by concrete facts, with high probability you are looking for a problem where there is none.
Make sure you have a balanced life: work, which wants to develop; hobby; a wide circle of friends. Employment - the best cure for self-destruction.
Do you have There are doubts about your relationship and how you cope with them?