How to get rid of feelings of guilt towards her child
Being a mom - is incredibly complex, crazy and beautiful experience that a woman can survive. Expectations of your actions are great, but this does not mean that you must be perfect 100% of the cases. Today, we are talking about what to do if you feel guilty about what you can not give the child more, spend a little time with him and do not always know what to do in a difficult situation.
Suppose that you had to go to work at a time when the child is still very much in need of you. Make a small memo, which will serve as a reminder of why you do it. Answers to these questions:
- What motivates you to go to work every day?
- Are you a valuable employee?
- Why did you decide to combine work and child care?
Remember a few important achievements that you have achieved in your professional field, as well as find information on how much you can lose in their field, if you miss even one year old, sitting on maternity leave. Answers to these questions can give you the strength of will to ensure that to overcome the feeling of guilt, and assure you that you made the right choice.
So what choice you did - there should be no cause for the disorder. Remember that no situation lasts forever and can be arranged as comfortably as possible under any conditions. Surely now, when you're at work, you think only about the baby, but at home all my thoughts go towards the work tasks. Stress that you earn from the fact that trying to break - that's what really hurts your personal and professional life.
You need to stay focused as possible on each of its tasks. When you come home - disable the warning and refuse to use gadgets. In the office, try to be as productive as possible, without being distracted by calls spouse, babysitter or child grandmother.
Remove the space from the people imputes guilt
Maybe the idea of wine you prompted someone from the others? Set boundaries with the relatives and friends of the family, which would allow you not to discuss topics related to motherhood. If your mother-in-law or condemn your desire to work - stop talking, because it will not be useful either for the two of you or for your child.
Another easy way to ignore the rude comments of others - to understand where there was their point of view. Ask: What happened in the life of this man, that he believes that he is right?
Quite possibly, your mother in law had to finish his career, to sit with the child. She was lonely and boring, and unpleasant to be dependent on her husband - but she went on to make such concessions, and believes that everyone should do as well.
Create a support team
Your partner, your family, your friends and even babysitting - all can have strong support in your situation. Make a special schedule, indicating the moments in which you help is especially needed, and do not be afraid to ask for it from others. The stronger your schedule will be unloaded, the more you will be able to spend time with the child.
Think about the changes
Regularly analyze their situation to understand where you can make changes to it. Ask yourself these questions: Is my work suits me? I develop on it? Is it enough to pay me or to look for something else?
Check whether your interests coincide with your family goals. Having carefully reviewed all opened up in front of you and think of ways that this can bring you all the most good.
Admit that you can lose a lot
It may be extremely difficult, but you should prepare for the fact that you miss a lot of important moments in the life of their child. You can not hear him say the first word, the first time I saw a turtle, and how will travel by bicycle. It is absolutely normal to feel sad about this, so it Allow yourself to mourn the things that were not available to you.
Discuss the situation with your partner or another person who usually sits with the child. Can he shoot video, so you will not miss the sweetest moments or call feystaymu during the day? Perhaps the photo or video will help you get through this bout of guilt.
Stop to compare
Social networking is absolutely no help to come back to normal, if you constantly see in your feed, like other moms work, travel and constantly spend time with the child. But you can not know for sure what was behind this perfectly retouched photograph.
Stop trying to be perfect, as people on other people's pictures, accept where you are now, and is working to make your life pleasant it is for yourself.
Remember that it is not forever
It may seem that that terrible choice that you make in favor of the workers affairs, will affect both of you forever, but it is not. The child will grow and develop, you gradually begin to sleep and stop being so distracted. You can perform many more promises that mentally gave her child, so do not worry that it is impossible to do right now.