We have something to share: how to combine friendship and competition
Friendship is based on the common interests of the two people. Paradoxically, they also lead to competition. Comrades at the university eventually turn into colleagues with similar professional goals, and in general with age, we are more inclined to compare ourselves to others and to compare their achievements with the achievements of others. Tell us what to do, if you feel in girlfriend rival.
Understand my feelings
Realize that you envy a friend, unpleasant, but do not push away the feeling. Instead, try to understand what lies behind them.
Ask yourself why the success of a friend makes you negative emotions. You're really mad at her or just feel insecure? Is your attitude to it changed? Do you let your feelings influence your communication?
If you do not run from your emotions, and take them, and take a closer look, you can see their true cause and understand how to fix it.
Discuss what is happening
Even if a straight stiff competition between you not, for example, you are not fighting for a position in a company or not poach each other's customers, you should discuss the situation in which you hit. Many people in the conditions of competition are closed, and in friendship this change is felt particularly strongly.
Recognize that your dreams are crossed and you have to deal with it. That is no reason to move away, on the contrary, it is more important to understand that you will be happy for her success in spite of everything. Try to save your relationship a chance to be honest and open. No need to pretend that nothing happens and you are friends continue, if in fact your relationship is complicated by the competition.
Learn to properly treat its successes
To cope with envy, it is important to learn not to make other people measure their success. Compare myself with my girlfriend counterproductive and unfair to both of you. Let it inspire you good luck, and do not become an occasion for self-flagellation. Ask her for help or advice - friendly support will remind you on one side.
Analyze how to change your relationship
Before investing efforts to preserve close relations in a competitive environment, make sure that it is necessary for you both. You can cope with the feeling of envy, learn to share the friendship and rivalry, to maintain it, but you will not be able to make a person well to treat you.
Does she enjoys your success? Support for new initiatives, or more frequently criticizes? Can you rely on it? If after talking with her you often feel bad, maybe it's toxic friendship, from which it is useful to get rid of than to keep it.
Help her to
decide that this friendship is still worth it to save it - prove it in deeds and not in words. Help a friend with a presentation, even if as a result it will make the post that you'd like. Tell me what outfit to choose, even if in the end the party will feel her less attractive background. Be there when she needs you. You are unlikely to alienate their success to help others. But your friendship can fail without support.
When it comes to professional competition, besides a rather stiff and tight, the best solution - a clear distinction between friendship and work. Agree that one should not interfere with another. In life, you can perfectly communicate, support each other, but are forced to stay at work, first of all, good specialists.
Uslovtes do not discuss operational issues, if possible. It is sad to realize that you can not talk with a friend about what you want, but sometimes it's the only way to maintain healthy human relationships.
Do you have to compete with a friend and how you deal with it?