What if partner ignores your requests in bed
We often write about the importance of talking about their desires in a relationship, including sex, and teach how to do it. But sometimes the difficulty is not that you gloss over the problem, but the fact that the partner does not want to hear about them. Heroine figured out what to do if a man does not respond to your needs in sex.
Understand why he did not want to hear your wishes
You do not have the guy deliberately ignores your hints, maybe it just seems that everything is fine. Due to social stereotypes, men often focus only on penetrative sex - this form of intimacy, we mainly see in the media culture. At the same time, most women get an orgasm from clitoral stimulation, which is not easy to achieve in penetrative sex, but simply to achieve with manual and oral sex.
Man can ignore the extra stimulation because of the belief in the fact that he has a penis, which is enough for your orgasm. Of course, this is not an excuse, but understanding the reasons will help you understand how to discuss this subject and to dispel his delusion.
Listen to it
Want to hear your partner, make sure that you are mindful of him. Remember that your perception is also largely dependent on their own prejudices. For example, you can assume that it confuses the topic of sex (because before you open it did not discuss). You try to talk hints bypass the sharp corners (which itself is defined). Actually, it is more open than you thought, just happened to find out it was not presented. Do not try to pretend to know very well what he thinks and feels your partner. Share your experiences, no matter how uncomfortable it may seem that conversation.
Give positive feedback
The fact that you are dissatisfied with your sex life is unlikely to please a partner, so talk about positive aspects too. Notes that you particularly liked in your vicinity, reminds the partner that he attracts you - even if the guy is up to date, it is always nice to hear. Try to form in your relationship open conversation about sex culture, then the recognition that something you do not have enough in bed, it will not seem strange or frightening partner.
Try to model the behavior that you expect from the guy. Ask what you can do to bring him more pleasure, that he wanted to try sex or change in your normal sexual practice.
Say directly what you want both of you to grow, develop and approached in an intimate relationship, and it needs it to guide you. Hearing this, a loving partner, certainly reciprocate and try to get the same from you feedback.
clearly states what you want to
Another reason why the guy does not respond to your requests - he simply does not understand. We are not only ashamed, but simply do not know how to talk about sex. Common words "be more careful", "I want something else," "I need more foreplay" can not be sufficiently specific. He does not understand what to do, hesitate to ask again, what does that mean, and just continues to do business as usual. The easiest way to overcome the language barrier, speaking about sex - to show in practice. Take his hand and guide the partner, where necessary, demonstrate it, how do you want me to touch you. Often, this is much easier than to explain my feelings in words. The main thing is that the partner was ready to follow you.
Offer educational resources about sex
Your partner or you may scare the changes in sexual life due to the fact that you have too few know about it. The lessons of sex education in our schools are not available or no matter what do not look like the parents, too, rarely understand how to talk to children about sexuality. It is not surprising that many of us have no idea what to do, even with your body, not to mention the body of another person.
Try to explore this topic together. Read books about how our body, learn what sexual boundaries, and how to install them, explore the nature of male and female orgasm (for example, the book of Emily Nagoski "What woman wants" will definitely be useful to you and a partner).
Discovering new things about the body and sex, you will learn to communicate openly with each other on intimate topics, to get close and start to take your sex life as an opportunity for the development of relations.
Think about whether to remain in these relationships
This may sound categorically, but if, despite all your efforts, the partner does not want to engage in dialogue and to respond to your needs, you should consider whether you need these relationships. First, sex - an important part of life, so you should not ignore the fact that it does not give you pleasure. Secondly, the fact that the guy ignores your wishes, does not consider them to be important, says a lot about him and his feelings for you.
You deserve a partner who is open to your requests and strives to take care of you. Do not be afraid to assert their sexual needs - a step towards improving your relationships and your life.