How to build a relationship, if you are mentally ill

Build healthy relationships is difficult to practically everyone, but for people with anxiety disorders and other mental illnesses situation worsened significantly. At least 18% of the population lives in the country with a diagnosed mental illness - almost one in five people. These people are asking whether the partner to talk about the diagnosis you need? When is it better to do it? Does it ruin your relationship?

Heroine has collected a few rules that should be followed if you want to build a healthy relationship, while having a depression, bipolar or anxiety disorder.

to talk about it

How to build a relationship, if you are mentally ill

Be honest in relationships - the most important rule, which is able to save your relationship. It may not be easy, so take a deep breath and begin to tell their story as soon as possible.

The risk of disclosure of information about mental illness is similar to the risk of falling in love head over heels. How to react to this new man? whether he was afraid of your feelings?

- Avi Steinhardt, a licensed clinical social worker

Unfortunately, due to widespread stigma, many are not aware of in relation to mental disorders that they look like, so it is highly likely that your partner does not even understand the meaning of "depression", "panic attacks" or "borderline personality disorder" . But the reaction of the person that you talk - you can tell a lot about his sensitivity, empathy and ability to listen.

If your new boyfriend is not interested in the subject, says you myself head and share the problems and all the psychiatrists - are charlatans, even better, if you know about it at the beginning of a relationship, and you will be able to stop them, until everything is gone too long away. Do not put off the serious conversation for later. Remember that you do not want to say anything to the partner, if you will be a crisis. This conversation can be productive only when you are calm and be able to clearly describe what's happening to you and how you can support in critical situations.

Share information

How to build a relationship, if you are mentally ill

The next step after you have voiced their diagnosis, - share the information about their disorder that you have. It is likely that before your partner does not come across anything like this, and for people with mental disorders only read in the media.

Tell me about how you are going through their attacks, which usually helps you, and that, on the contrary, it is absolutely unsettling. If you regularly if he konsultirueshsya a therapist or psychiatrist, you can check with a partner does not want to visit with you session to give their expert advice for your relationship.

Make a reminder that will remind him that in fact you love him, even if the neurochemical flash in your mind during the crisis will provoke you to aggression or, conversely, to utter indifference.

to attend therapy

Regular intake of a therapist - a great way to keep symptoms under control and learn on their own to stabilize your mood. Your partner should not be the person to whom you tell each of his problem - in some cases it may not even miss the experience to help you.

It is not necessary to do this weekly practice, especially if it is financially difficult for you. Talk to your specialist, what homework you should spend what courses psychological assistance you can visit and what materials to learn to self-manage their mental health problems.

Taking care of yourself - is more important than relationships

Regularly take care of yourself is very important for any person, but if you suffer from a mental disorder, this should be treated with special care. If you need a little personal space - Report this partner. Talk about what might improve your situation and try not to cancel their rituals in order to go to another date in the movies.

How to build a relationship, if you are mentally ill

If your partner is against what you're trying to spend most of the time to recover and relax - maybe you should let him go. Remember that you need someone who will understand how much effort you have to take to be normal.

Watch how you treat others

At the same time it does not mean that you should ignore the important needs of others out of egoism and the desire to live only for themselves. Analyze the emotions generated by the scheme in which you can contact, and always try to hear what your partner says.

Create new rituals to communicate, for example, call or send voice messages to your friends in the moments when you walk from the subway home. Tell us about how successful was your day, and take an interest in what's new at it. Even short dialogues are important, and your relationship will not be destroyed if you're on time vypadesh from the usual rhythm.

Does not allow you to use your illness as an excuse

The fact that you have a mental illness - does not mean you're crazy, and your feelings are not important. At the same time your disorder - does not permit it to behave aggressively with people, accusing them of callousness and indifference. If your partner suddenly starts to write off the problems in your relationship is only that you are struggling with the disorder - think that these relations should finish. It is likely the case that he does not want to be responsible for what happens between the two of you and uses it as a way to manipulate you for their own benefit.

How to build a relationship, if you are mentally ill

Do not think you spoil someone else's life

Because of all these conventions might get the impression that you are only to strain around her problems. In reality, none of us chooses how to diagnosis or lack of it to be born, and you're not to blame for what is happening to you.

Your mental disorder does not define you, and then who you are. And the other person makes a decision, be it in a relationship or not, so do not try to cross the responsibility for the fact that you even started dating.