6 things on which people dwell, when you do not feel safe in the relationship
Distrust in relationship can manifest itself unconsciously, such as fixation on the details in the behavior of the partner. The main thing in this case - do not convince yourself that you are going through because of nonsense, but to understand the real reason for alarm. Here are some things on which people dwell, when do not feel safe in the relationship.
1. Who which shall act
The equal distribution of physical and emotional effort in a pair of important for a healthy relationship, but it does not develop into a petty and becomes a constant source of stress. According to relationship expert Jonathan Bennett:
Many people who do not believe in the relationship will "keep score" on issues such as money and household chores, taking offense, if not full equality.
The joint life there are times and situations where one partner is making more effort than the other, and on it there are objective reasons, for example: a woman on maternity leave involved in the child more and more men invested in the family budget, because it works (or vice versa, because in the decree can go and father).
It makes sense to distribute the charges are not on the principle of "who does" and certainly not on gender, but based on the fact that someone familiar, convenient or interesting. If you are constantly upset due to the fact that your partner is not doing enough, perhaps the reason is not left their dirty dishes, but much deeper - in your relationship lacks trust.
2. What does the partner when you're not together
When a person does not feel safe in a relationship, any more or less prolonged separation from a partner is perceived as a threat. It seems, the less time you spend together, the more estranged from one another.
Globally, this is the case when people are not seen for weeks or almost do not communicate, even though they live in the same apartment, their relationship will inevitably weaken. But if there is trust between the people and they find ways to reinforce their sense of being together, spending time alone is very useful.
3. How much time do you spend with
One of the clear signs that a person is not sure of their relationship - he fixate on how much time it spends partner. So he assesses the level of affection of your favorite (or favorite). The more he worried about it, the more immersed in counting hours, minutes and evenings. He even gets angry at other people in the partner's environment because they waste time that could be held together.
If you experience something like that, try to shift the focus of attention and understand why you do not feel comfortable and safe in a relationship? That the behavior of the partner, your past or your common habits takes away your confidence? By understanding the real reason for concern about the joint holding time, it will be easier to improve relations.
4. What does a partner in social networks
If you have no apparent reason to worry about the guy publish on social networks or with whom he speaks there is also a sign that you do not feel safe. The reason for the excitement can be not only the fear of betrayal, but also fear of what he would say or do something improper in the public space. When you create a safe relationship, you do not feel the need to keep an eye on each other's lives. So work hard to build confidence in the pair discussing boundaries and priorities.
5. How much space in his life are friends
When friends partner perceived as a threat and the opposite side, it also speaks of the uncertainty. This type of behavior is often called jealousy or possessiveness, but the real reason for the lack of sense of security and comfort.
Such perceptions are often susceptible to those who had already faced betrayal in other ways. Whatever it was, it is important to overcome this distrust for the sake of the relationship, and this will require efforts on both sides.
6. Priorities partner
If a person is not 100% sure in the stability of their relationship, it can get stuck on meeting the needs of the partner and trying to please him. Of course, the desire to please a loved one - a natural thing. But when any dissatisfaction with a partner is perceived as a threat to the relationship, it is an unhealthy anxiety caused disbelief.
The security relations people are not afraid to express their desires, even if they do not match.