How to find the man?

How to find the man?

When we look for a new job,

We are putting a lot of effort to get what you want.

A partner search

often we feel something from us to be independent and give it to fate or event, not knowing that we can do a lot in order to take the process faster and more efficient.

In this article I want to give the specific algorithm, which tells you what you can do, how to do it, and may help to understand what prevents you to find the person with whom you can build a truly happy relationship?

Here is the algorithm.

1. Emotionally finish past relationship (if you have not already).

The new man will come into your life only if the seat next to you will be free, so you need to determine whether all previous relationship emotionally complete. Why incomplete way?


  • You're looking at a new partner through the prism of a previous relationship, and do not see it as a real person.
  • You can not completely turn to a new partner, because some part of you remains in past relationships. This can be expressed in the fact that you will not feel in themselves the ability to love, trust, and open. Like all good, and a good man, but something interferes.

Emotional incompleteness is not always immediately recognizable. Sometimes a person believes that if there is no relationship and return the previous partner he does not want it all ended - but it is not. Feelings do not die immediately.

It takes time, so you can spend them to the end and let go of someone you once loved. If memories of previous partner you experience any feelings (not necessarily positive), then the release has not yet happened. Indicator of emotional perfection is your attitude to the fact that it was. If you're talking about his previous love story, like a movie that does not have to you now direct relationship if the previous partner remains only warm feeling of unconditional love and gratitude for all that has been, but you do not communicate to him any expectations - you let and a location near you free. And that means you're ready for a new meeting.

2. Enter the resource state.

Resource state - is a condition in which a person full of energy and his life happy (even if at the moment there is no partner).

It is in this state, we are ready to build a happy relationship. Indeed, in this case, the partner we need not to fill our lives with joy (it is already filled), not to fill the void (it is not), or to solve some of our problems (we are able to solve them), and to give, to share the energy of love and receive pleasure from the fact that we are moving through life together, while giving each other the opportunity to live their own lives.

  • If you are not able to build their own lives so that it is pleasing to you,
  • If you are expecting this from a partner,
  • If you are aiming to make it the main source of joy and energy,

the more likely your relationship will be co-dependent, bringing more pain and suffering than happy moments.

If you feel that your condition has not yet become resource - turns to his life and look into her own sources of joy and energy that you can fill. It can be work, and friends and hobbies, and travel, and all the little things that you please. Only after you will find the internal resources, we can move on. 3. Determine what the stalls you want to meet?

You can first write all the qualities you want to see in your future partner. Most likely, there will be many. Look carefully at this list and accept that such a person does not exist. This - the ideal and the real people from it are bound to be different. If you dedicate his life to the search for the ideal, the risk and be left alone.

Look again and leave the whole list of his three main qualities without which the partner for you is simply inconceivable. At the same time, be honest with yourself and do not try to one as to combine some of their wishes.

Now you know who you are looking for. If in the future you will meet a man who will have all three of these qualities, then everything else you can take. If, however, although it will not be the same quality at, it is unlikely that you have something to work, even if the beginning of the relationship will be perfect and romantic.

4. Determine what kind of relationship I want to build, that is, understand, what do you actually want?

  • I want to marry (married)?
  • Or do I need a partner for regular meetings and joint vacation?
  • Or me anything serious right now do not need, and I want to communicate without obligation for mutual pleasure?

It is also very important to be honest with you, because we attract what already exists in our subconscious. Take a look at the depth of his soul, and feel what you really need right now? Perhaps you realize that what you thought was your desires - it is imposed you install, and your true desires quite different, and this is very important. If we are talking about starting a family, the public relations in marriage do you want? Sometimes it seems that if both want a serious relationship, they want the same, but it is not. For someone married - it's all to do together, and someone needed a lot of personal space.

Common goals and views on life - a necessary condition for happy relationships. When you hear yourself, you will be easier to understand if people who met on your way.

5. Create a target slide.

Imagine that you have met the person who wanted to meet and build those relationships, which dreamed of. How do you like them? How do you feel with this person? Feel the love that exists between you, the joy, peace of mind, safety, acceptance, and all the feelings that you experience so eager. This is the target the slide that you are filled with energy.

We always get much direct our energies, so periodically during the day "dive" in your target slide and feel, as you well there, visualize different aspects of your new relationships. It should turn easily and with pleasure. If you have to force yourself to "dive", it means something in this slide is not so and it must be further developed, it is still not yours. Back to claim 3 and 4.

6. Remove the excessive importance.

If something we really want, it creates excess capacity, and then begin to act in the universe equilibrium forces that prevent us get what you want. That is, it is necessary to choose, but not much.

One way to reduce the excessive importance - to focus not on purpose, but on the way to the goal. In practice, it looks like this: you periodically scroll through your target slide head and not thinking about how you feel bad without a relationship and how you want them as soon as possible in your life there - and what else you can do, to the person you want, I come into your life? Perhaps we should afford to go somewhere or to do some interesting work that you are putting off. Or maybe you feel that it's time to sign up for a dating site, or go to some party or an interesting event. Listen to yourself, go for your interest and do what your heart tells you.

This algorithm works.

This is tested on dozens of cases from my practice the psychologist and consultant experience of my friends and acquaintances.

In conclusion, I want to say that in addition to what I have written, it is important to believe that in life everything happens on time and if we are really ready for it. This allows you to remove the impatience and focus on what you have in your life have not completed to be fully prepared for that meeting, which you dreamed.