If you are drawn to a man much older than herself. What to do?

If you are drawn to a man much older than herself. What to do?

Strong, smart, adult, able to take the lead - it is not the dream of many women?

For those who are attracted to a man older than himself, he fancies that for such a man's behavior as a hug, a woman sitting on his lap, stroking on the head, and this man's strength lies.

In general, something like that looks like the image of an ideal partner for women who are attracted to a man much older himself. What is wrong here? This is what we will talk today.

As I write, a man much older woman, I mean a difference of 7 years or more, and the more it is "more", the greater the severity of all those moments that I will be writing on.

I will not beat around the bush and immediately you say - what do you prefer a man much older than herself, indicates the presence of your violations of interaction with the father (or the first man of his life, it could be a grandfather and brother, and stepfather) .

Yes, I did not have problems with my father, because I did not have little communication with his father - I often hear from clients who choose men Godyaev their fathers. He or living separately from the child, or drinking soundly, or absent on a long trip, or even due to some circumstances rarely influenced the girl.

Yet, as time is a lack of male attention from the first man of her life and is the root of the problem in these women. They need to be dominant, adult (read - much older than himself) the man to fill this gap in communication with his own father in his childhood. They want to use a man as a magic remedy that will eliminate the need to adapt to life.

It is important to understand that the the desire to get the protection of a man to become excessive. In a normal relationship a woman can allow a man to feel like a defender, while it can itself provide this protection and she does not arise the need to hide from the life of a man.

Girls, get involved in a relationship men much older than themselves, often say that they honestly tried to build a relationship with someone closer to his age, but it did not. Well, neither do these girls, were not able to find a guy like - all coevals does not have half of what is in older men.

In the language of psychology, it is a question about the needs that the fair half of mankind can only meet with them. And it's something that does not Doda them their father in childhood. In this regard, you may be helpful following my articles:

Why do women attract weak men

Workshop on independence

What if the man you used

Note that in childhood is not to return, but to remove the negative that was in it - can be. You also need to break the negative scenario of relationship that you repeat after their parents in their lives. The output from the parent script in the same place and was until now the entrance.

We need to understand what your needs are met only in a relationship with men older than themselves. Here is what they give you, which do not give the other men? It is important to understand.

And willing to answer you, I will not write here, because each will have its own entry in the history of the misfortune of nedolyublennosti dad.

The way out is to learn how to meet their needs (at least at a minimum level) without depending on the presence of the men in your life. Yes, parents are often wrong, yes, childhood often goes not perfect - but for now, you'll no longer the helpless girl, which were then. That changes the perception of themselves, their way of thinking and their behavior.

Only by becoming independent and an adult, you will be able to escape from the suffering of love addiction in the relationship.

Through whom you can learn how to meet their needs in the father, when he was already a grown woman?

Do not by whom, and through that - through their own personal growth through support to itself, through development and by working with a psychologist.