Pause in the relations: a new start or finish?
The relationship between a man and a woman - a kind of partnership.
If it is based on love, it seems that it is doomed to success for many years together, filled with happiness and concern for each other. But, unfortunately, it is not so simple.
In any, even the happy couple are difficult times, because the relationship - it's a constant work that requires the participation of each partner. Crises are inevitable, sometimes a couple can feel quite hard this time, and decide on the pause in relations. The positive outcome of such a pause, making it the starting point for a new life. And it happens that the break becomes final relationship.
However, is not necessary to substitute the concept and confused pause with parting.
Perhaps you do not see a future for the relationship and have already decided to leave, but can not decide to report it to the partner, afraid to hurt or do not know how to start a conversation, find the right words.
In such a situation it would be better still to accept the inevitability of separation and the fact that it is in any case will bring pain for both partners. If you proceed with the difficult conversation, and continue to be in a relationship, it can bring even more suffering to you both, and undo all the good that was between you earlier.
Otherwise, you will constantly torment the thought of having to give up fear and pain, and the accumulated irritation you will likely start to broadcast their partner. And he will be tormented by uncertainty and lack of understanding of what he is doing wrong and what causes such discontent. When the appropriate pause in the relationship?
1. To be or not to be together.
It makes sense to take a break, if your head crept in doubt about the correctness of the choice of partner. You are not ready to stop the current relationship completely, but do not know what to do, where to go further, and feel that you face a serious choice. This situation may occur if you moved away from each other in terms of communication, it has become a little common interest and do not want to talk to you or nothing.
Here it may be useful to stay on time alone and listen to yourself, to try to figure out what you really want. Find common themes and interests as possible, if sincerely want to understand your partner, but if you need it?
2. The endless quarrels
Are you sure you want to be with your partner, do not imagine myself living without each other, but always find out the relationship and swear on every occasion. A short pause in this case will help to remove the accumulated stress and get bored, but do not save you from the problems. To overcome such a crisis, it is necessary to find the true causes of quarrels and do it together.
Perhaps alone will be more comfortable to think a little aloof from the endless abuse, but emerged versions and solutions have to be still to discuss with a partner and negotiate.
3. Unequal positions and a lack of respect. If you feel that your partner does not recognize you held personality, does not attach importance to your opinion, and discuss the proposal ignores the accumulated problems, causing you while resentment and misunderstanding, we must get out of this impasse. Perhaps he does not trust you and controls every step in torturing you jealousy and suspicion. When all attempts to find a compromise and tried to discuss the situation, a break in a relationship can open up some new possibilities.
It is important to tactfully bring the partner to the question of a break in relations. You may have already considered all the available options and found a way out of the situation it is in a temporary parting, but because your partner has not yet been posted. Most likely, it will be difficult to hear from a loved one that he was confused, tired and want a break from the relationship. Therefore it is necessary as well as possible to convey this information to your partner.
The conversation should be thorough, it may be delayed, so do not try to break the news on the run. Try as detailed as possible to tell and explain to your loved one how you came to this decision and make sure that he listens and understands what you are saying. It is important that the conversation wore a format of dialogue and flowed into a quarrel with mutual accusations. You should be clear arguments for its position that reason more than emotion. Necessarily need to discuss what will be the duration of the pause, how long you will need to change the situation between you. As a result of the conversation partner should understand your position. It is important that he has realized that you do not want to break off relations with him, and a pause is needed to solve specific problems.
During the period that you were taken for a break, try to spend more time on themselves. Personal development through reading literature, hobby, training can help to get out of the doldrums. Try to understand their feelings, ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly. Pause in a relationship - it is time for a serious and often difficult psychological work.
During this period, do not start with someone to meet, after all outstanding issues are to move to a new relationship.
A pause is not a guarantee of solving problems.
More often than not has yet to find the strength to overcome the crisis together.
Sometimes, pausing, you can only temporarily get away from myself and even more to spoil relations either to lose the one you love.