10 rules of healthy happy couples

Their pair can be 5, 10, 15 or 30 years, they may be of different social levels, different religion, any nationality ...

But looking at the pair, only one thing is clear - they are really happy! You just see it on them, and feel that these people, in spite of all of life's crises and crises of couples, not just stay together, but also multiply happiness!

How do these couples stay in love?

Unfortunately, the answer is not that "they were just lucky" or "they were born for each other." The answer is that relationships require work and commitment to partner, as well as real (adequate) views on relationships. A look at the relationship through rose-colored glasses - not exactly useful. I propose to look at what makes people happy in the happy couples.

Rules that help be adequate.

What it is important to pay attention to, and it is desirable to refer to the relationship.

1. Develop a realistic attitude to the relations .

Yes, it is important to recognize that crazy love will pass, and beautiful novel will become a routine. And only you can the "grayness" paint any color. Deep relationship - they are more calm and quiet, unlike love.

Adults understand that long-term relationships will not be emotional roller coaster, but there are ups and downs - and they are ready for them.

2. Working on yourself in a relationship.

Anyone, even the most beautiful garden, if it is not followed by at least a minimum of care, may die. And if this garden very sick gardener? With regards the same.

The only thing that is important to add - must work not only on relationships but also on themselves in a relationship. It is not all the fault of a partner, usually our internal installation and unsolved problems prevent us from enjoying relationships. Unresolved internal problems - only an occasion for quarrels and scandals, and then a vicious circle. 3. Learn to spend time together.

This much has been said, but, judging by the practice, people do forget to do this. Spend time together without children, relatives and even pets. Better yet, even if the mobile phone will be disconnected. Only you!

In this solitude you as a couple to strengthen its relationship, and the more you spend time together, so you are stronger as a family. And here it is not about to watch the show together. Important movements and actions.

4. Learn to spend time separately from the partner.

It is no less important than learning how to spend time together. Most of us grew up in a codependent relationship, and allows partners to go and relax on the relationship is seen as something unacceptable. There are people who are very scared of this because of jealousy and fear that the chance to meet someone else.

If you do not learn to let go of the partner and by not rest on the relationship, then soon you will be together very stuffy. And then there is a high probability that the partner will look for an outlet on the side.

This item is about trust and relaxation. There is no better balm for the relationship than rested, to inspire a loved one who is willing to share new experiences.

5. Remember that first attracted you to the partner.

Think about it for a while. What attracted you to your loved one in the beginning of a relationship? What his qualities do you respond to his love? But they stayed in it until now. Do you remember this? Keep all manifestations of these qualities when they notice.

6. Do not expect your partner to change. If the two of you stop trying to change each other - you'll save a lot of time and increase the number of pleasant moments. Alteration takes a lot of time and effort, but the results are usually sad - from disappointment to rupture.

Yes, you are different, but the differences useless to fight - they must learn to accept. Focus on yourself and change yourself, leaving a partner in peace. As time passes, he and a partner will change something that can adversely affect your relationship - it's the law.

7. Accept the fact that not all the problems in the relationship can be solved.

Do you have unresolved conflicts? Unfinished Gestalt has not been canceled? I would agree, but not all of gestalt must be completed. Sometimes humility - the best closing of the Gestalt. Otherwise, you can claim that you can not give just a very objective reasons, and you can not accept it. Humility - saving energy and time.

8. Listen.

Very useful skill that will assess any participant relationships. How is it nice when you can talk and possibly complain, and you listen attentively and do not interrupt. When you do not ask "stupid" questions, do not specify or insert: "this is garbage, but I ...". Just listen, listen ... just And if you learn to summarize - "if I understand you correctly ..." and recount what they heard - the price you will not!

9. Honesty is important.

It is useful to be honest especially with yourself and then with a partner. If you do not like something, but you can not tell a partner because you're afraid of - not the best option. Otherwise, it may cause stress, which will soon result in a relationship. I do not call to tell the truth and nothing but the truth, you are entitled to little secrets. Choose the level of integrity themselves, the main thing - "do not step on your throat."

10. Do not take your partner for granted.

Respect on the year. Over time, when relations are losing the old ardor and Life captures the "head", there is a risk to start treating your partner as a "matter of course". Thereby devaluing its importance and significance in the first place as a person.

Remind yourself and your partner about how important it is for you, it means a lot to you, which was amazing - it will make your relationship to the rich sense of gratitude, and it is worth a lot. Respect - is that as a bare minimum should remain in the relationship. Broadcast disrespect to partner the worst thing that can happen to you.

These rules are an important component of the happy relationship.

Maybe this way will not be easy,

and perhaps to learn some of the rules you might need a psychologist.