How to explain to my husband that I am a person?
A lot of women / girls after a long time married wonder - and what did I do wrong that my husband does not consider me a person?
Why he does not respect my opinion or what I say or do?
Why pick on me for detail?
It spoils the mood, sets a negative way, the thought creeps in that I can do better, unnecessary insult, and the worst is when suffering self-esteem and start to think - maybe I'm really kind of not so?
Who is the "personality"?
Wikipedia, of course, gives many definitions of the word, but knowing "marital problems", I can say that the "personality" women often put such a thing as:
- , he should respect me and my opinion;
- to listen to what I say (to do so, as I say, or want to);
- to admit that I have a right to make a mistake;
- I sometimes know more than him (why he does not listen to me when I say it?);
- him with me to be better and more interesting than without me.
You can add your own.
In this context, it appears that the issue is more respect and acceptance of different opinions. And the woman, when it meets, convinced that her husband did not recognize her as a person.
For me, a person is:
- I have my stable, and not vague opinion, and is not ready to hang it on the other at any cost;
- I know exactly what I want, and I'll do it naturally without causing real damage their half - that is my wish, though not related to the partner, but harmless with respect thereto;
- I do not break yourself to please others;
- I have enough stability does not take offense at trifles;
- I have my own interests, needs and desires that I can not organize at the expense of their partner;
- If I ask for something, it is ready to abandon no offense;
- If I have an opinion on a particular issue - I will express it and I will not insist on the fact that this is the best option, but given the choice of your partner;
- when there is a favorite thing or work, and it brings me pleasure;
- When I am ready to give myself the freedom to be free in a relationship.
It turns out that this is about the fact that I have to be very stable, adequate and not determined by the partner. And yet I should have their achievements, victories and consequently self-esteem.
The question of women is:
"How do I explain to him that I am a person"?
And what is the point to explain? The more you him to explain something, the more he will have reason to think that you are less stable! I do not see any sense to shake the air.
Do not need to explain anything - should be done!
Only through the actions of another person can actually see / feel / compare! Only facts can make a difference. Only in this way and not otherwise!
- Stop impose his opinion - and he will be interested in what you think on some subject.
- Take useful / interesting thing for yourself, give him some freedom and rest from the relationship - and he pulled himself to you.
- Work on your self-esteem - and you will be respected. You can not respect a man who does not respect himself!
- Those questions, which is not exactly an expert, leave to others.
The person is primarily determined by its own attitude. It is important that this ratio was adequate!
Another question, when her husband - a tyrant or Infanta. When he does that you "wets" with or without. When he was "all wrong, it's not some sort," when you are regularly showered insults and beatings. Then output as if one - appointment with a psychologist and understand how you were here and how to get away from it. There is only one action - to deal with a deep and leave. It is important to understand because to repair themselves and not to fall into this kind of relationship anymore.
In order to better understand what is going on in your relationship and why you asked the question, "how to explain to my husband that I am a person", propose to do an audit of what is, and determine a plan of action.
Write down all those "claims" to her husband, all the things that his behavior towards you you do not like. Not like that, "he does not hear me." Namely: "When I ask to sit or play with your child, it is more important to watch the news." OK. Then your actions are as follows. "Well, dear, how much time you need to view the news? I need to do this and that, after 20 minutes, I'll get you a baby, and I need 30 minutes to my business. " After 20 minutes, bring the child and go about their business without checking every 5 minutes, what happens to them, and making their own adjustments. If the husband decided to go somewhere with friends, you are entitled to it. And if you thought that you it is not safe, there are many temptations and so on, it is not to her husband claims, and to you - why not trust and why at this moment you do not have better things to do, how to control his partner and his behavior?
Well, the last. This topic is closely related to me with respect. respect for yourself and for your partner. If there is no respect for her man, then a woman would feel smarter, wiser, more adequate and in every way to prove it to the man. He, in turn, begin to compete, and the scandal and offense can not be avoided.
And a person, she is able to respect, she understands exactly where right and what is not. Again, it would not prove anything. She is wise, she will draw conclusions and more in such misfortunes will not fall. Personality realizes that you are different, and it will not adjust the other in its scope, it will give the choice to be yourself. And she will by itself and will not crumble at the slightest disagreement with it.
Wisdom to you in a relationship!