I say goodbye to you. Part 2: Working with positive feelings when parting with a loved one.
This article is a continuation of the series on important issues at the end of a love relationship.
It is especially dedicated to working with positive experiences and memories associated with the former partner.
On the one hand, it seems that everything is clear and pleasant with good experiences. But the question arises: what to do with them, if the person to whom they belong, decided to end the relationship.
1. They have a right to be.
No matter how you split up in the period relations were pleasant and warm experience. Sometimes you want to forget it all, that was not so painful and has been less willing to back a man less reason to miss, to remember, to compare it with others. The difficulty arises in fact not about to forget or not to forget - and how to keep these feelings in the experience, but do not carry all the time with him.
2. Excessive idealization.
If you always remember what a wonderful man your former partner, you can and live all your life with its ideal image in mind, rather than a real person. No matter how wonderful he was, he was not perfect, it has its pros and cons, if all he really ideal, something hidden behind it all the same.
If you want to be in a relationship a man (woman) as a person with whom you are well, not a good man, then start today. Yes, this man was in your life, it involves a lot of pleasant moments, these moments are tied to a particular period in the past, this is not in the present. There, in the past, you were good with him, today in a different way, and from the man you is not good, because you went. You will meet the other, which is good - not the case, as it was then and as it is now, in a special way. As good as can be only with that particular person. The experience is unique, so do not try to compare and try to listen to yourself, to those moments when the two of them together well.
3. Assign yourself.
If you were good together, it is not only his merit, no matter how wonderful man he was. In a relationship there is a huge contribution on your part, it is not necessary to depreciate. If the relationship with your attractive side of your partner's bloomed, it is your presence that helped. Do not forget this!
4. Assess the contribution.
You passed this way together, you and once decided to become a couple. You have invested in these relationships that could give, and what they could, you tried, you have been with this man, you did a great way to strengthen and maintain these relationships.
So it happens that people can leave, but the reason is always in both parties relationship. Everyone has their experience and sore spots, there may come a time when the pain in these areas is exacerbated and the person starts to behave strangely enough. So do not think that you can control the other person, he did so as it sees fit and safe for themselves. Now your task is to assign yourself what you have done everything we could, but do not try to change the other person.
You can not go and pretend that this man never had in your life, especially when it was sincere and deep feelings. More precisely, the type to do something, you can, but get fooled for long, and do not want to go back to the starting point.
From this experience, you learn what's important to you in a partner, and the relationship of man and woman, with this experience, you can go further. No one you do not take. Your value is that you are able to love another person and learn to love yourself.
After relationships are always memories and experiences associated with another person. How to deal with them - will discuss in the next article.