Tormented nostalgia ... What to do?
Life makes its own demands:
be implemented in
have a family, children
an apartment, a dacha, a car, a decent income, and so on.
And the older the person, the more he sees the condemnation in the eyes of others when something knocked out of successfully received frames. Then people are looking for a consolation, and someone finds it in the dependency, and some nostalgia for the past.
That is the last aspect of today and we touch in our publication. Namely: what to do with longing for what was - but, alas, was it?
You may remember from time to time people from his past; You remember that you had with them, and wondered what would happen if you then would have behaved differently. Perhaps you are gusts write to someone on the "Classmates", or other social services. networks - those with whom you used to take her life.
Nostalgic, a person falls into the illusion that he can relive everything that was then. I like to write about this Agatha Christie:
Do not go back to where you were happy.
As long as you do not do this, everything remains alive in your mind. If you find yourself there again, everything is destroyed.
And it really breaks down is the picture that was your head. You may, and will experience a pleasant feeling, but it will not. The reason for that - that you already own experience. Yes, if you all feel that way, because it was you the first time.
It follows a disappointing conclusion that to be happy, you can only get your new experience in your present life. And then, what you're nostalgic, you're not survive - as it was then. Because, even if your life puzzle was such that all repeat a hair's breadth, will not feel the novelty and therefore the severity of the senses that was. It's like going to get a second degree in a similar institution. You want to escape from the lectures, because you have it all was ... You can not experience the second time, first mark the delight donated session. Once again in a similar situation, you feel almost nothing - and the reason is that the cherished moments are remembered not only by how and where it all happened, but also, more importantly, lived experience. A new experience you can not get over.
The same is true for other situations, for example, for lovers.
When you enter into a relationship for the first time, something makes you admiration and affection, and it remains in the past, you get experience. Try again to build a relationship with that person, you will find that this experience will not be the same as your first time. And if you still get back past experience, you will have a nasty feeling that you slipped something inedible, or at least not fresh. Still, you are comparing the same with what you felt when first received a new experience! You will feel cheated, because memories store information about how this could actually be.
Thus, the brightness of the memories arises not because of the fact that there were circumstances - but due to the fact that at that time it was a new experience for you.
Perhaps, having read this far, you are depressed because it is impossible to experience double schastet the same moment. But this is not true, because for the brightness you need only one condition - that was a new experience, but it can also be obtained in a similar situation, and with one and the same person. Everything becomes colorful when you do not try something, and live every situation of his life here and now. That is why about the crisis in the relations of people say they do not glue the broken cup. Yes, do not stick together, but it is possible to mold a new one.
And here we are with you closely approach the question of the root cause of your melancholy. It is that you are not satisfied with what you have in the present. And then nostalgia is a way for you to escape from the need to solve the vital problems which today puts before you life.
When people step over the threshold of 30 years, the public eye vigilantly stands out for the way you solve their life problems and judge you. And if a person does not reach the level that feels properly fit, then it appear sad experiences of his worthlessness. What if you feel worse than others, you can learn from my video at the end of this article.
But here I have already written that I wanted, so I say goodbye and wish you to feel successful people and, most importantly, not only feel themselves as such, but actually to be.