Unclimbed or tied steps children

Unclimbed or tied steps children

Love - something quite dangerous.

As the fire.

It is their intensity can both warm and strangle. And particularly affected babies.

So - depending on.

There are 4 stages of the interdependence of mother and child.

1 stage.

Codependency (6-9 months, 9 months - 1, 5 years).

At the time of cutting the umbilical break occurs sozavisimosti physical and psychological sozavisimost begins. This symbiosis - a natural phenomenon at this stage. The whole world is a child - one big mother's breast.

Met the basic needs of the baby: trust, feeding, comforting.

He learns to trust the world: Mom fit - well, my mother is not suitable - it is terrible, cold and lonely.

This symbiotic relationship comes to an end at the time of weaning.

During this period, you can not leave your child for a long time in the arena - you need to give him a crawl and feel peace. In the study area the dirt is more important than clean clothes.

2 stage.

Protivozavisimost (1, 5 - 3 years).

The main need of the child: the separation from his mother. The statement "I did!" - is not a whim, but a natural desire to do something on their own. Kid ready to make their own steps toward adulthood. But his mother's care and love, and lack of time would pluck these desires. Faster and easier to dress your baby yourself than to give him the opportunity to feel like an adult.

The task of parents - to create a sense of trust, to organize a secure space where your child can communicate itself, to give him time to develop this space, to touch dangerous things - hot, spicy.

This forms a feeling of "I myself, the world is not terrible, my mother would come to the rescue when you need to." 3 stage.

Independence (3-6 years).

The child is able to act autonomously, but still feels a bond with his family, with my mother. There are friends. He departs on the interests of the mother on walks farther, but always checks her presence. Even if only stare.

4 stage.

Interdependence (6-12 years).

Use acquired on 3 stages of autonomy skills: Zoom in and out without creating discomfort. Child plans to their interests, trip. Learn to act independently, take responsibility for their actions. The process of learning the relationship coming to an end. The child appears own affairs. Concerns of parents and their children do not care about the relationship, they are themselves actively interested in the outside world.

Free children.

Mother-child bond is set in the period of a few minutes after birth up to 12-24 hours. If such a link is not established - the child subsequently becomes too attached to his mother. It affects a child's ability to achieve autonomy or separation from their parents at the age of 2-3 years.

Children who successfully completed the merger stage - not afraid, they search aggression on knowledge and cognition. They are excellent students not because they are should be to learn, but because want to know.

There is a basic trust in the world.

Anchored children.

  1. They are afraid of the world and change.
  2. Approaching others shyly and cautiously. It is difficult to investigate the world.
  3. They are scared, they do not understand my mother perfectly. They need to be repeated on 10 times the same. To guide their actions, they need: - specific instructions;

    - open physical signals (touch, hold hands, eye contact).

  4. With hardly perceive subtle intuitive signals. They are more inclined to respond to the situation than to anticipate them.
  5. They exhibit compensatory behavior: aggression, defiance, concealment of fear, anxiety, feelings.

It is often children abandoned it. From this computer dependence may occur, a game (especially if the mother is depressed, without emotional contact).

These children formed a protective mechanism for merging with another person.

Merge (dependence).

This identification with other people, seeing in them something of their own.

"Sticking" to "good, good" person.

A man does not feel the boundaries between themselves and the environment.

Verbal Turnover: we went, we ate.

When the merge process is broken - a sense of guilt and resentment. Resentment is transformed into a feeling of aggression (resentment - a way of removing responsibility from themselves).

When anger arises - it is a positive thing.

If the child does not show aggression - he suppresses it directs itself, hence the depression. He built an algorithm of behavior: loneliness - vulnerability - anxiety - aggression.

Aggression - this is a normal feeling of, it is important to keep track of that feeling and express it verbally: I'm not happy.

Learn to be a parent is never too late.

Any questions - please!